IAM (of Avon, _bien entendu_), hath armed us in advance
against even the latest developments of the detestable. The "base
newsmongers" of the day are to be shunned as carefully as the "smiling
pick-thanks." They would set strife between the two sides of a
sixpence or a sovereign. In vain, let us hope! Than that Uncle should
admire Nephew, and Nephew respect Uncle, who could wish more or
better--for both? We Three!!! My Emperors and Heirs-Apparents, pray
charge your glasses! Something _like_ a Triple Alliance! A Veritable
League of Peace! Kaiser; at least this is as pleasant as the
proceedings on board the _Cobra_ during her passage down the Elbe,
_n'est-ce pas_? No formal appending of Statecraft's Scarlet Seals,
or scrawly Imperial Signs-manual need we for our Amicable Treaty.
A handclasp and a Loving-cup shall suffice us for marking the happy
accord of Peace--Goodfellowship--Mirth!!! These be verily the "Central
Powers," which RUDINI _might_ have referred to when he said,--"Our
Alliance, firmly and sincerely maintained, will assure the Peace of
Europe for a long time to come." So mote it be! Let us toast them--in
a Bumper!

[_Left doing so._

* * * * *

[Illustration: A TRIPLE ALLIANCE.

"THE PRINCE OF WALES DOTH JOIN WITH ALL THE WORLD IN PRAISE OF--KAISER
WILHELM; BY MY HOPES, I DO NOT THINK A BRAVER GENTLEMAN,

"MORE ACTIVE-VALIANT, OR MORE VALIANT-YOUNG, MORE DARING, OR MORE
BOLD, IS NOW ALIVE TO GRACE THIS LATTER AGE WITH NOBLE DEEDS."]

* * * * *

HENLEY REGATTA.

(_BY MR. PUNCH'S OWN OARSMAN._)

Sir,--This letter is private and is not intended for publication. I
particularly beg that you will note this, as on a former occasion
some remarks of mine, which were intended only for your private eye,
were printed. I of course accepted your assurance that no offence was
meant, and that the oversight was due to a person whose services had
since the occurrence been dispensed with; but I look to you to take
care that it shall not happen again. Otherwise the mutual confidence
that should always exist between an editor and his staff cannot
possibly be maintained, and I shall have to transfer my invaluable
services to some other paper. The notes and prognostications which
I have laboriously compiled with regard to the final results of the
Regatta will arrive by the next post, and will, I flatter myself, be
found to be extraordinarily accurate, besi