'ates deception, and it would be more
than my place is worth to let 'im catch me talking these 'ere dead
secrets to you. Give us the coin. I'm orf!"

And, before I was able to carry out my portion of the contract, he was
gone. And in another moment--so was I.

* * * * *

[Illustration: BRUIN JUNIOR.

"May this be my poison, if my Bear ever dances but to the very
genteelest of tunes, '_Water-parted_,' or '_The Minuet in Ariadne.'"
She Stoops to Conquer_.

_Viceroy_ (_to Miss India, loquitur_). "DON'T BE ALARMED, MY DEAR!
THIS BEAR NEVER DANCES BUT TO THE VERY GENTEELEST OF TUNES!"

Lord LANSDOWNE, _loquitur_:--

Be easy, my darling! He doesn't come snarling,
Or rearing, or hugging, this young Dancing Bear.
With you (and with pleasure) he'll tread a gay measure,
A captive of courtesy, under my care;
His chain is all golden. Your heart 'twill embolden,
And calm that dusk bosom which timidly shrinks.
Sincere hospitality is, in reality,
Safest of shackles;--just look at the links!

Alarmists saw ruin in prospects of Bruin,
The Great Northern Bear, treading India's soil.
How bogies may blind us! On our side the Indus
They fancy friend Ursa spies nothing but spoil;
But Ursa's _invited_ to come, and delighted
To visit you, not as aggressor, but guest.
So welcome him brightly, and treat him politely.
And trip with him lightly, you'll find it far best,

ATTA TROLL (HEINE tells us) "danced nobly." Pride swells us
To think our young guest is a true ATTA TROLL;
No Bugbear, though shaggy, a trifle breech-baggy,
And not altogether a dandyish doll;
No Afghan intrigue, dear, or shy Native league, dear,
Has brought Bruin's foot o'er our frontier to dance:
He comes freely, boldly--don't look on him coldly,
Or make him suspect there is _fear_ in your glance.

Be sure that the Lion will still keep his eye on
All Bears and their dens, in the Tiger's behalf;
Meanwhile Ursa Minor eschews base design, or
Intrigue against _you_, dear. Lift eyes, love, and laugh!
I'll answer for Bruin, he shall not take _you_ in--
The Bear's _bona fides_ nobody impugns;
He asks a kind glance, and your hand in a dance; and
He'll dance "to the very genteelest of tunes"!]

* * * * *

THE UP-TO-DATE CONVERSATIONIST.

_He_ (_at the end of a turn_). I see there's been a row in Chili--what