it and tell you everything I have
always wanted to. You thought me stupid and sentimental and wicked and
mad, but you never really knew how much I was to blame."
"Indeed I never think about it now," said Philip gently. He knew that
her nature was in the main generous and upright: it was unnecessary for
her to reveal her thoughts.
"The first evening we got to Monteriano," she persisted, "Lilia went out
for a walk alone, saw that Italian in a picturesque position on a wall,
and fell in love. He was shabbily dressed, and she did not even know
he was the son of a dentist. I must tell you I was used to this sort
of thing. Once or twice before I had had to send people about their
business."
"Yes; we counted on you," said Philip, with sudden sharpness. After all,
if she would reveal her thoughts, she must take the consequences.
"I know you did," she retorted with equal sharpness. "Lilia saw him
several times again, and I knew I ought to interfere. I called her to
my bedroom one night. She was very frightened, for she knew what it was
about and how severe I could be. 'Do you love this man?' I asked. 'Yes
or no?' She said 'Yes.' And I said, 'Why don't you marry him if you
think you'll be happy?'"
"Really--really," exploded Philip, as exasperated as if the thing had
happened yesterday. "You knew Lilia all your life. Apart from everything
else--as if she could choose what could make her happy!"
"Had you ever let her choose?" she flashed out. "I'm afraid that's
rude," she added, trying to calm herself.
"Let us rather say unhappily expressed," said Philip, who always adopted
a dry satirical manner when he was puzzled.
"I want to finish. Next morning I found Signor Carella and said the same
to him. He--well, he was willing. That's all."
"And the telegram?" He looked scornfully out of the window.
Hitherto her voice had been hard, possibly in self-accusation, possibly
in defiance. Now it became unmistakably sad. "Ah, the telegram! That was
wrong. Lilia there was more cowardly than I was. We should have told the
truth. It lost me my nerve, at all events. I came to the station meaning
to tell you everything then. But we had started with a lie, and I got
frightened. And at the end, when you left, I got frightened again and
came with you."
"Did you really mean to stop?"
"For a time, at all events."
"Would that have suited a newly married pair?"
"It would have suited them. Lilia needed me. And as for him--I c
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