erfully, 'the ONLY difficulty that presents itself in this otherwise
very clear case is, how we can possibly make it sufficiently hot for the
incorrigible rogue and hardened ruffian whom we see cowering in the
dock before us. Let me see: he has been found guilty, on the clearest
evidence, first, of stealing a valuable motor-car; secondly, of driving
to the public danger; and, thirdly, of gross impertinence to the rural
police. Mr. Clerk, will you tell us, please, what is the very stiffest
penalty we can impose for each of these offences? Without, of course,
giving the prisoner the benefit of any doubt, because there isn't any.'

The Clerk scratched his nose with his pen. 'Some people would consider,'
he observed, 'that stealing the motor-car was the worst offence; and so
it is. But cheeking the police undoubtedly carries the severest penalty;
and so it ought. Supposing you were to say twelve months for the
theft, which is mild; and three years for the furious driving, which is
lenient; and fifteen years for the cheek, which was pretty bad sort of
cheek, judging by what we've heard from the witness-box, even if you
only believe one-tenth part of what you heard, and I never believe more
myself--those figures, if added together correctly, tot up to nineteen
years----'

'First-rate!' said the Chairman.

'--So you had better make it a round twenty years and be on the safe
side,' concluded the Clerk.

'An excellent suggestion!' said the Chairman approvingly. 'Prisoner!
Pull yourself together and try and stand up straight. It's going to be
twenty years for you this time. And mind, if you appear before us
again, upon any charge whatever, we shall have to deal with you very
seriously!'

Then the brutal minions of the law fell upon the hapless Toad; loaded
him with chains, and dragged him from the Court House, shrieking,
praying, protesting; across the marketplace, where the playful populace,
always as severe upon detected crime as they are sympathetic and helpful
when one is merely 'wanted,' assailed him with jeers, carrots, and
popular catch-words; past hooting school children, their innocent faces
lit up with the pleasure they ever derive from the sight of a gentleman
in difficulties; across the hollow-sounding drawbridge, below the spiky
portcullis, under the frowning archway of the grim old castle, whose
ancient towers soared high overhead; past guardrooms full of grinning
soldiery off duty, past sentries who coughed in