enerally are, five minutes after you've
started--why STEAL them? Be a cripple, if you think it's exciting; be a
bankrupt, for a change, if you've set your mind on it: but why choose
to be a convict? When are you going to be sensible, and think of your
friends, and try and be a credit to them? Do you suppose it's any
pleasure to me, for instance, to hear animals saying, as I go about,
that I'm the chap that keeps company with gaol-birds?'

Now, it was a very comforting point in Toad's character that he was a
thoroughly good-hearted animal and never minded being jawed by those
who were his real friends. And even when most set upon a thing, he was
always able to see the other side of the question. So although, while
the Rat was talking so seriously, he kept saying to himself mutinously,
'But it WAS fun, though! Awful fun!' and making strange suppressed
noises inside him, k-i-ck-ck-ck, and poop-p-p, and other sounds
resembling stifled snorts, or the opening of soda-water bottles, yet
when the Rat had quite finished, he heaved a deep sigh and said, very
nicely and humbly, 'Quite right, Ratty! How SOUND you always are! Yes,
I've been a conceited old ass, I can quite see that; but now I'm going
to be a good Toad, and not do it any more. As for motor-cars, I've not
been at all so keen about them since my last ducking in that river of
yours. The fact is, while I was hanging on to the edge of your hole
and getting my breath, I had a sudden idea--a really brilliant
idea--connected with motor-boats--there, there! don't take on so, old
chap, and stamp, and upset things; it was only an idea, and we won't
talk any more about it now. We'll have our coffee, AND a smoke, and a
quiet chat, and then I'm going to stroll quietly down to Toad Hall, and
get into clothes of my own, and set things going again on the old lines.
I've had enough of adventures. I shall lead a quiet, steady, respectable
life, pottering about my property, and improving it, and doing a little
landscape gardening at times. There will always be a bit of dinner for
my friends when they come to see me; and I shall keep a pony-chaise to
jog about the country in, just as I used to in the good old days, before
I got restless, and wanted to DO things.'

'Stroll quietly down to Toad Hall?' cried the Rat, greatly excited.
'What are you talking about? Do you mean to say you haven't HEARD?'

'Heard what?' said Toad, turning rather pale. 'Go on, Ratty! Quick!
Don't spare me! What