Presently the Mole came tumbling into the room, evidently very pleased
with himself. 'I've been having such fun!' he began at once; 'I've been
getting a rise out of the stoats!'

'I hope you've been very careful, Mole?' said the Rat anxiously.

'I should hope so, too,' said the Mole confidently. 'I got the idea when
I went into the kitchen, to see about Toad's breakfast being kept
hot for him. I found that old washerwoman-dress that he came home in
yesterday, hanging on a towel-horse before the fire. So I put it on, and
the bonnet as well, and the shawl, and off I went to Toad Hall, as bold
as you please. The sentries were on the look-out, of course, with their
guns and their "Who comes there?" and all the rest of their nonsense.
"Good morning, gentlemen!" says I, very respectful. "Want any washing
done to-day?"

'They looked at me very proud and stiff and haughty, and said, "Go away,
washerwoman! We don't do any washing on duty." "Or any other time?" says
I. Ho, ho, ho! Wasn't I FUNNY, Toad?'

'Poor, frivolous animal!' said Toad, very loftily. The fact is, he felt
exceedingly jealous of Mole for what he had just done. It was exactly
what he would have liked to have done himself, if only he had thought of
it first, and hadn't gone and overslept himself.

'Some of the stoats turned quite pink,' continued the Mole, 'and the
Sergeant in charge, he said to me, very short, he said, "Now run away,
my good woman, run away! Don't keep my men idling and talking on their
posts." "Run away?" says I; "it won't be me that'll be running away, in
a very short time from now!"'

'O MOLY, how could you?' said the Rat, dismayed.

The Badger laid down his paper.

'I could see them pricking up their ears and looking at each other,'
went on the Mole; 'and the Sergeant said to them, "Never mind HER; she
doesn't know what she's talking about."'

'"O! don't I?"' said I. '"Well, let me tell you this. My daughter, she
washes for Mr. Badger, and that'll show you whether I know what I'm
talking about; and YOU'LL know pretty soon, too! A hundred bloodthirsty
badgers, armed with rifles, are going to attack Toad Hall this very
night, by way of the paddock. Six boatloads of Rats, with pistols and
cutlasses, will come up the river and effect a landing in the
garden; while a picked body of Toads, known at the Die-hards, or the
Death-or-Glory Toads, will storm the orchard and carry everything before
them, yelling for vengeance. There won't be m