ul part of it!

JEM: I wonder how they can do it!

KITTY (_archly, yet on the verge of tears_): So do I!

(_At the last words they turn; their eyes meet. KITTY falters. JEM
falters. After a moment they fall into one another's arms._)

[Illustration: KITTY: "SPLENDID! I NEVER SAW ANYTHING SO WELL DONE!"

SIR W.: "IT'S NO LAUGHING MATTER!"]

_Enter PORTER_: Her ladyship has bidden me to put her trunks together,
ma'am.

KITTY: Wait a minute, Porter. Perhaps I can persuade her ladyship to
stay. (_Voices from without._)

LADY FLO: I wish to go this instant, and alone.

SIR W.: By all means, and to-morrow my lawyer shall wait on you.

LADY FLO: And mine on you. (_After a moment, they enter._)

LADY FLO: And it has come to this, William!

SIR W.: By mutual consent. This is the happiest day of my life. I
breathe again. I know now I have never breathed until this moment since
the day I married you!

LADY FLO: This is beyond everything! (_Violently excited._)

JEM (_whispers aside to KITTY, unobserved; play on both sides; then,
after evidently agreeing on a plan, pretend to treat the matter as a
joke; advancing_): Bravo! Bravissimo! _Capital!_ (_Roars with forced
laughter._)

KITTY: Splendid! I never saw anything so well done! (_Joins her husband
in laughter._)

SIR W.: It's no laughing matter!

JEM: Ha! ha! I daresay not.

KITTY: Irving and Ellen Terry are not in it! (_Continues laughing._)

LADY FLO: What _can_ you mean?

JEM: Oh, don't pretend that you and my uncle have not been getting up
this little comedy of a quarrel, merely to show Kitty and me what fools
we look when _we_ are fighting! Why! It was better than any play I ever
saw!

SIR W.: It's all been in sober earnest, I assure you.

(_LADY FLO recovers slightly. Looks first at JEM, then at KITTY, and
lastly at SIR WILLIAM._)

LADY FLO (_slowly_): You call--all--this--a little comedy? (_Recovers
more, but very gradually._)

KITTY: Why, yes! Don't attempt to say it wasn't--(_slyly_)--especially
after all you told me this morning about how cleverly you manage my
uncle. Just let me see you glance at him in the way you said you could.
(_Whispering._)

(_LADY FLO further recovers herself. Her expression softens. After a
minute or two she smiles meaningly to herself._)

JEM: Now, Uncle Will, do finish off by pretending to make up the
quarrel! There's my aunt waiting with her smile already!

SIR W. (_stupidly_): _Pretend_ to make up the quar