d, wherefrom darts a look of indignant
repudiation of any disposition to fall asleep; and so keeps until the
eyes close again. I have waited long, but have never seen Atkinson fall
permanently asleep.

[Illustration: GILLIE CALLUM.]

The possibilities of the ostrich are not properly recognised. He is
domesticated, and bred with the utmost ignominy in a poultry run, and
his tail is pulled out with impunity. I am not quite sure that he
habitually figures on South African dinner tables with his legs skewered
to his ribs, but he has fallen quite low enough for that; submitting
even to the last indignity of being hatched out by a common stove
incubator. Now, the elephant has also been domesticated, but he has also
been allowed to adopt a profession. He dances on a tub and rides a
tricycle at a circus. Nothing of this sort has been attempted with the
ostrich, but much might be done. He would make a first-rate bicyclist,
and could get through much of the business of the "eccentric comedian."
A couple of them would go to make a capital knockabout act. High kicks
of the very highest, floor-strides of the very longest--and there would
be a world of opportunities in the neck. No end of possibilities lie in
the neck--even the "legitimate." You could run in a forty-minute sketch,
wherein two long-separated but faithful lovers should fall against each
other and wind their necks about together like a caduceus, or
barley-sugar--or anything. Also the camel-goose might fling his neck
about the villain, and strangle him. But perhaps, after all, variety
business would suit best. Pontius Pilate in a kilt and philibeg would
bring down the house with a Highland fling or gillie callum. And
Atkinson in a long-stride table chair and banjo act would be comforting
to the perceptions.

[Illustration: LONG SEPARATED.]

Whether the ostrich is actually such an ass as to hide his head with a
notion of concealing himself I don't quite know, but there is certainly
a deal of ass in the camel-goose. A Hottentot will put an ostrich skin
over his head, and walking with his natural shanks exposed get among an
ostrich family and kill them off one after another, to the family's
astonishment. Now, a bird who mistakes a nigger with a mask for an
intimate relation plainly enjoys in his composition a large flavour of
the ass. Not knowing it, however, the camel-goose is just as happy, and
neither experiences the bitterness of being sold nor the sweetness of
sel