you'll do;
There is only one escaping, only one to ransom us
From the rumpus we have kicked up and the madness of the muss:
Give the women all they ask for! We were chumps to treat them ill.--
We're undone if they keep
knocking
on the
Statehood
Bill!

A Hard Winter Ahead.

"Yessuh, we am lookin' foh de hahdest wintah dis yeah dar hez bin foh a
long time; but ef de neighbohs keeps on erraisin' chickens en de possums
doan't git too scahse, I belieb we kin pull thew toh grass widout
a-sellin' ob de houn' pup!"

The Charity Ball.

Rich man foh de pooh man dance
One night in de yeah;
Pooh man foh de rich man prance
All times, do yuh heah?
Pooh man play de violin
While de rich man swing;
Pooh man squeeze de fiddle in
When he wants toh sing!
Mistah rich man, hab yoh fun
Makin' grub foh us;
Min' dat stohy ez yuh run
'Bout ole Lazaruss!
Guess yuh'll dance some ober dah,
Jes' ez like ez not;
Swing dem pahtnehs fas' en fah
'Foh de fiah git hot!

Little Sermons.

The man who can't live right in this world can't expect to get the
chance in the next.

There may be more devotion in tears than in laughter, but I'll tie up
with the latter and take the risk.

No one except Christ ever called the devil Satan to his face; and then
they went up into the high mountain and into a private place where no
one else could hear the muss.

The Santa Claus Boy.

The Santa Claus boy is the latest thing out;
He's the rage of the season, they say,
And wherever you wander, you'll find him about
With his beautiful, dutiful way;
He's as spick and as span as a dandified man.
And his look is a heavenly joy;
And however he does it, whatever his plan,
We know he's the Santa Claus boy!
He jumps out of bed in the morning himself,
And he never lies still for the rest;
He dresses in haste with the skill of an elf,
And he washes and combs with the best;
He does up the chores while his small sister snores,
And his whistle no longer annoys;
He's the pride of the house and the king of out-doors,--
This wonderful Santa Claus boy!
He hastens to school with a heart full of glees,
And he never turns truant to play:
His lessons he learns with the greatest of ease,--
He recites