Christ,
said to him, "Would that the Lord Jesus might appear to you some day!"
Ignatius, wondering at her words, understood in a literal sense, and
asked her, "What would He look like if He were to show Himself to me?"

He always persevered in his custom of approaching the Sacraments of
Confession and Holy Communion every week. But herein he found a great
source of anxiety on account of the scruples with which he was
annoyed. For though he had written out his general confession at
Montserrat, and with great diligence and care had tried to make it
complete, yet he always felt that he had forgotten something in his
confession, and this caused him much anxiety. Even though he should
now confess it again, he received no consolation. He tried then to
find a spiritual person, who could give him relief in his trouble, but
he found no one. Finally, a certain doctor who had experience in
spiritual things, and who was a preacher in the church, advised him to
write down anything he remembered and feared that he had not
confessed. He obeyed, and even after he had confessed these sins, his
scruples still continued to fill his soul, and he was constantly
recalling minor details that he had not confessed. In this way he was
cruelly tormented. He knew well that these scruples caused no little
harm to the spiritual life, and that it was most expedient to get rid
of them, yet they continued to torture him. At times it occurred to
him that it would be well if he could have his confessor command him
in the name of the Lord Jesus not again to confess anything of his
past sins; and he inwardly prayed that his confessor would give him
some such command, but he could not bring himself to ask him to do
so.

CHAPTER III

SCRUPLES--HEAVENLY FAVORS--JOURNEY TO BARCELONA

At last his confessor, without any suggestion on the part of the
penitent, commanded him to confess nothing of his past life, except
what was very clear and evident. But as he regarded everything of the
past as evident, the confessor's order did not help him at all. He was
in constant anxiety. At that time he lived in the Dominican monastery,
in a little cell which the Fathers had allotted to him. He kept up his
usual custom of praying on bended knees for seven hours a day, and
scourged himself three times a day and during the night. But all this
did not remove his scruples, which had been tormenting him for
months. One day, when terribly tormented, he began to pray.