is some mould sown by Laura's fair hands, but it grows only on the
outward crust of which Sniatynski speaks, and has not struck any
roots. There is no need of uprooting anything; it is as easily wiped
off as dust. Sniatynski is more reasonable when he is himself again,
and steps forth with his pet dogma that lies always close to his
heart: "If you consider yourself a superior type, or even if you be
such, let me tell you that the sum total of such superiority, is
socially, a minus quantity."

I am far from considering myself a superior type, unless it be in
comparison to such as Kromitzki; but Sniatynski is right. Men like me
escape being minus quantities in society only when they are men of
science or great artists,--not artists without portfolios. Often they
take the part of great reformers. As to myself I could only be a
reformer as regards my own person. I went about with that thought all
the day.

It is surpassing strange that, knowing my own short-comings so well, I
do not make any attempt to mend matters. For instance, after debating
for half a day whether to go out or not, ought I not to take myself by
the collar and thrust myself into the street? I am a sceptic?--very
well! Could I not act for once as if I were not a sceptic? A little
more or less conviction, what does it matter? What ought I to do now?
Pack up my things and go straight to Ploszow. I could do it easily
enough. What the result of such a step would be, I do not know, but at
any rate it would be doing something. Then Sniatynski writes: "That
ape is now every day at Ploszow, keeping watch over the ladies, who,
without that additional trouble, are worn to shadows."

Perhaps it is too late. Sniatynski does not say when he was last at
Ploszow, perhaps a week ago or maybe two; since then things may have
gone much farther. Yes, but I do not know anything for certain, and
when all is said how can it be worse than it is already? I feel that
anybody with a little more energy in his composition would go at once,
and I should feel more respect for myself if I brought myself to do
it, especially as Sniatynski, who is usually so enterprising, does not
urge me. The very thought brightens me up, and in this brightness I
see a beloved face which at this moment is dearer to me than anything
else in the world, and--per Baccho! I shall most probably do it.

9 June.

"La nuit porte conseil." I will not go at once to Ploszow, it would be
a journey in the dark