he country,
whither Mary had retired after her marriage, and when she gave up being a
maid of honour. "How do you do, Mrs. Howard?" Mary breaks out. "How do you
do, Mrs. Howard? that is all I have to say. This afternoon I am taken with
a fit of writing; but as to matter, I have nothing better to entertain
you, than news of my farm. I therefore give you the following list of the
stock of eatables that I am fatting for my private tooth. It is well known
to the whole county of Kent, that I have four fat calves, two fat hogs,
fit for killing, twelve promising black pigs, two young chickens, three
fine geese, with thirteen eggs under each (several being duck-eggs, else
the others do not come to maturity); all this, with rabbits, and pigeons,
and carp in plenty, beef and mutton at reasonable rates. Now, Howard, if
you have a mind to stick a knife into anything I have named, say so!"

A jolly set must they have been, those maids of honour. Pope introduces us
to a whole bevy of them, in a pleasant letter. "I went," he says, "by
water to Hampton Court, and met the Prince, with all his ladies, on
horseback, coming from hunting. Mrs. Bellenden and Mrs. Lepell took me
into protection, contrary to the laws against harbouring Papists, and gave
me a dinner, with something I liked better, an opportunity of conversation
with Mrs. Howard. We all agreed that the life of a maid of honour was of
all things the most miserable, and wished that all women who envied it had
a specimen of it. To eat Westphalia ham of a morning, ride over hedges and
ditches on borrowed hacks, come home in the heat of the day with a fever,
and (what is worse a hundred times) with a red mark on the forehead from
an uneasy hat--all this may qualify them to make excellent wives for
hunters. As soon as they wipe off the heat of the day, they must simper an
hour and catch cold in the princess's apartment; from thence to dinner
with what appetite they may; and after that till midnight, work, walk, or
think which way they please. No lone house in Wales, with a mountain and
rookery, is more contemplative than this Court. Miss Lepell walked with me
three or four hours by moonlight, and we met no creature of any quality
but the king, who gave audience to the vice-chamberlain all alone under
the garden wall."

I fancy it was a merrier England, that of our ancestors, than the island
which we inhabit. People high and low amused themselves very much more. I
have calculated the m