, I
said:

"Hello, Boss, writing to your girl?"

I have seen a good many men in my time who were pretty mad, but I have
never seen a man who appeared to be as mad as the general did. He was
a regular army officer, I found afterwards, and hated a volunteer as he
did poison. He turned red in the face and pale, and I thought he frothed
at the mouth, but may be he didn't. He seemed to try to control himself,
and said through his clenched teeth, in a sarcastic manner, I thought,
in imitation of a ring master in a circus:

"What will the little lady have next?"

I had been in circuses myself, and when the general said that I answered
the same as a clown always does, and I said:

"The banners, my lord."

I thought he would be pleased at my joking with him, but he looked
around as though he was seeking a revolver or a saber with which to kill
me finnally he said:

"What do you want, man?"

It was a little tough to be called plain "man," but I swallowed it. I
made up my mind it was time to act, so I stood up, put my hand on the
shoulder of the general familiarly, and said:

"The fact is, old man, I want a furlough to go home. I have got business
that demands my attention; I am sick of this inactivity in camp, and
besides the shooting season is just coming on at home, and I have got a
setter pup that will be spoiled if he is not trained this season. I came
down here two weeks ago, to help put down the rebellion; but all we
have done since I got here is to monkey around drilling and cleaning off
horses, while the officers play poker for red chips. Let me go home
till the poker season is over, and I will be back in time for the fall
fighting. What do you say, old apoplexy. Can I go?"

[Illustration: Never did know, how I got out of the general's tent 059]

I do not now, and never did know, how I got out of the general's tent,
whether he kicked me out, or threw his trunk at me, or whether there was
an explosion, but when I got outside there were two soldiers trying to
untangle me from the guy ropes of the general's tent, his wash basin and
pail of water were tipped over, and a cord that was strung outside
with a lot of uniforms, shirts, sabers, etc., had fallen down, and the
general was walking up and down his tent in an excited manner, calling
me an escaped lunatic, and telling the guards to tie me up by
the thumbs, and buck and gag me. They led me away, and from their
conversation I concluded I had committed an unpar