g up the tent the chaplain came back looking happy, and asked
me how I liked the mule. I never was a hypocrite, anyway, and I was mad,
so I said: "Oh, dam that mule!"

Of course it is wrong to use such language, especially in the presence
of a minister, but I couldn't help it. I could see it hurt the chaplain,
for he sighed and said he was sorry to hear such words from me, inasmuch
as he had just got me detailed as his clerk, where I would have a soft
thing, and no drilling or fighting. He said he had wanted a clerk, one
who was a good-hearted, true man, and he had picked me out, but if I
used such language, that settled it. He said he didn't expect to find a
private soldier that was as pious as he was, but he did think I would
be the best man he could find. I wanted a soft job, with no fighting, as
bad as any man ever did, and I told the chaplain that he need not fear
as to my swearing again, as it was foreign to my nature, but I told him
if he had been on the hurricane deck of a kicking mule for an hour, and
seen comrades fall one by one, and bite the dust, and be carried on with
marks of mule shoes all over their persons, he would swear, and I would
bet on it. So it was arranged that I was to be the chaplain's clerk, and
I moved my outfit over to his tent, and for the first time since I had
been a soldier, I was perfectly happy. There was no danger of being
detached for guard duty, police duty, drilling, or fighting, and the
only boss I had was the chaplain. The chaplain and myself sat that
evening in his tent, and ate sanitary stores, drank wine for sickess,
and smoked pipes, and didn't care whether school kept or not, and that
night I slept on a cot, and had the first good night's rest, and in the
morning I awoke refreshed, and with no fear of orderly sergeants, or
anybody. I had a soft snap.

The next morning I asked the chaplain what my duties were to be, and
he said I was to take care of the tent, write letters for him, issue
sanitary stores to deserving soldiers who might need them, ride with him
sometimes when he went to town, or to preach, go to funerals with him
occasionally, set a good example to the other soldiers, and make myself
generally useful. He said I would have to attend to the burial of the
colored people who died, and any such little simple details. He went out
and left me pondering over my duties. I liked it all except the nigger
funerals. I had always been a Democrat, at home, and not very much