thers, and of those I was able to tell him
not a few, which were usually followed by explosive laughter. He was
anxious to learn about our Western Territories, which were then
attracting attention in Europe, and a story I told him about Texas
struck him as amusing. When a returning disappointed emigrant from
that State was asked about the then barren country, he said:

"Stranger, all that I have to say about Texas is that if I owned Texas
and h--l, I would sell Texas."

What a change from those early days! Texas has now over four millions
of population and is said to have the soil to produce more cotton than
the whole world did in 1882.

The walk up to the house, when I had the philosopher out at
Pittsburgh, reminded me of another American story of the visitor who
started to come up the garden walk. When he opened the gate a big dog
from the house rushed down upon him. He retreated and closed the
garden gate just in time, the host calling out:

"He won't touch you, you know barking dogs never bite."

"Yes," exclaimed the visitor, tremblingly, "I know that and you know
it, but does the dog know it?"

One day my eldest nephew was seen to open the door quietly and peep in
where we were seated. His mother afterwards asked him why he had done
so and the boy of eleven replied:

"Mamma, I wanted to see the man who wrote in a book that there was no
use studying grammar."

Spencer was greatly pleased when he heard the story and often referred
to it. He had faith in that nephew.

[Illustration: HERBERT SPENCER AT SEVENTY-EIGHT]

Speaking to him one day about his having signed a remonstrance against
a tunnel between Calais and Dover as having surprised me, he explained
that for himself he was as anxious to have the tunnel as any one
and that he did not believe in any of the objections raised against
it, but signed the remonstrance because he knew his countrymen were
such fools that the military and naval element in Britain could
stampede the masses, frighten them, and stimulate militarism. An
increased army and navy would then be demanded. He referred to a scare
which had once arisen and involved the outlay of many millions in
fortifications which had proved useless.

One day we were sitting in our rooms in the Grand Hotel looking out
over Trafalgar Square. The Life Guards passed and the following took
place:

"Mr. Spencer, I never see men dressed up like Merry Andrews without
being saddened and indignant that in t