'rence, "I'm raally glad to see
your Holiness set so much to your satiswhaction; especially," says he,
"as, for fear ov accidents, I tuck the liberty of fetching the fellow ov
that small vesshel," says he, "in my other coat-pocket. So devil a fear
ov our running dhry till the but-end of the evening, anyhow," says he.

"Dhraw your stool in to the fire, Misther Maguire," says the Pope, "for
faix," says he, "I'm bent on analizing the metaphwysics ov this
phinomenon. Come, man alive, clear off," says he, "you're not dhrinking
at all."

"Is it dhrink?" says his Riv'rence; "by Gorra, your Holiness," says he,
"I'd dhrink wid you till the cows 'ud be coming home in the morning."

So wid that they tackled to, to the second fugee a-piece, and fell into
larned discourse. But it's time for me now to be off to the lecthir at
the Boord. Oh my sorra light upon you, Docther Whateley, wid your
pilitical econimy and your hydherastatics! What the _dioul_ use has a
poor hedge-master like me wid sich deep larning as is only fit for the
likes ov them two that I left over their second tumbler? Howandiver,
wishing I was like them, in regard ov the sup ov dhrink, anyhow, I must
brake off my norration for the prisint; but when I see you again, I'll
tell you how Father Tom made a hare ov the Pope that evening, both in
theology and the cube root.

CHAPTER II.

HOW FATHER TOM SACKED HIS HOLINESS IN THEOLOGY
AND LOGIC.

Well, the lecthir's over, and I'm kilt out and out. My bitther curse
upon the man that invinted the same Boord! I thought ons't I'd fadomed
the say ov throuble; and that was when I got through fractions at ould
Mat Kavanagh's school, in Firdramore--God be good to poor Mat's sowl,
though he did deny the cause the day he suffered! but it's fluxions
itself we're set to bottom now, sink or shwim! May I never die if my
head isn't as throughother as anything wid their ordinals and
cardinals--and, begob, it's all nothing to the econimy lecthir that I
have to go to at two o'clock. Howandiver, I mustn't forget that we left
his Riv'rence and his Holiness sitting fornenst one another in the
parlor ov the Vatican, jist afther mixing their second tumbler.

When they had got well down into the same, they fell, as I was telling
you, into larned discourse. For, you see, the Pope was curious to find
out whether Father Tom was the great theologian all out that people
said; and says he, "Mister Maguire," says he, "What answer do you make
t