a word to offind you,"
says he, for he seen that the Pope was very vexed. "Sure, God forbid
that I'd say anything agin your Holiness, barring it was in fun: for
aren't you the father ov the faithful, and the thrue vicar ov God upon
earth? And amn't I ready to go down on my two knees this blessed minit
and beg your apostolical pardon for every word that I said to your
displasement?"

"Are you in arnest that it is in fun you wor?" says the Pope.

"May I never die if I amn't," says his Riv'rence. "It was all to provoke
your Holiness to commit a brache ov the Latin that I tuck the small
liberties I did," says he.

"I'd have you to take care," says the Pope, "how you take sich small
liberties again, or maybe you'll provoke me to commit a brache ov the
pace."

"Well, and if I did," says his Riv'rence, "I know a sartain preparation
ov chemicals that's very good for curing a brache either in Latinity or
frindship."

"What's that?" says the Pope, quite mollified, and sitting down again at
the table that he had ris from in the first pluff of his indignation.
"What's that?" says he, "for, 'pon my Epistolical 'davy, I think it
'udn't be asy to bate this miraclous mixthir that we've been thrying to
anilize this two hours back," says he, taking a mighty scientifical swig
out ov the bottom ov his tumbler.

"It's good for a beginning," says his Riv'rence; "it lays a very nate
foundation for more sarious operation: but we're now arrived at a pariod
of the evening when it's time to proceed wid our shuper-structhure by
compass and square, like free and excipted masons as we both are."

My time's up for the present; but I'll tell you the rest in the evening
at home.

CHAPTER IV.

HOW FATHER TOM AND HIS HOLINESS DISPUTED IN METAPHYSICS
AND ALGEBRA.

God be wid the time when I went to the classical seminary ov Firdramore!
when I'd bring my sod o' turf undher my arm, and sit down on my shnug
boss o' straw, wid my back to the masther and my shins to the fire, and
score my sum in Dives's denominations or the double rule o' three, or
play fox-and-geese wid purty Jane Cruise that sat next me, as plisantly
as the day was long, widout any one so much as saying, "Mikey Heffernan,
what's that you're about?"--for ever since I was in the one lodge wid
poor ould Mat I had my own way in his school as free as ever I had in my
mother's shebeen. God be wid them days, I say again, for its althered
times wid me, I judge, since I got under Ca