s the story.

Brown was the depot nuisance. He had a conduct sheet filled up in red
and black, and his entries would have been even more numerous if he had
not possessed a great gift of cunning. He had had several passages of
arms with the C.S.M. of "A" Company and had emerged unscathed more than
once.

On the occasion of this story Brown was being tried for using abusive
language to a superior officer, to wit, the said C.S.M. The abusive
language consisted of one very striking epithet. The charge was read
over to Brown, and the C.S.M. was called upon to give evidence. He
stepped smartly forward. Matilda loitered between his legs ... and then,
I regret to say, the C.S.M. applied the same epithet to Matilda that
Brown had applied to him.

The case was reluctantly dismissed, and Matilda is out of favour with
the C.S.M.

* * * * *

"It was my first experience of a sandstorm, and I can tell you
that the sensation was a most terrible one. With the aid of my
assistants I got off the camel, which immediately stretched
itself in the sand, and moistening my handkerchief pushed it
across my face."

_Sydney Herald (N.S.W.)._

Wise and dexterous creature! We presume it drew the moisture from its
internal reservoir.

* * * * *

"The second cook, who is an American citizen, managed when the
Germans ordered the lifeboats to be given up to hide one under
his raincoat."--_Western Mail_.

One of the collapsible sort, no doubt.

* * * * *

"Some very daring entrances were forced into these fortresses.
One single soldier not directly concerned with the attack found
20 bottles of champagne in one, drank a glass or two, and went
forward to seek for others. Squeezing into one he discovered a
German officer in bed."--_Daily Mail_.

It must have been a bantam who thought of this ingenious ruse.

* * * * *

THE NORTH ATLANTIC TRADE.

As I was walking beside the docks I met a pal o' mine
I sailed with once on the Colonies run in Thomson's Blue Star Line;
Said I, "What cheer--what brings you here?" "Why, 'aven't you 'eard?"
he said;
"I'm under the Windsor 'ouse-flag now in the North Atlantic trade.
We sweep a bit an' we fight a bit--an' that's what we like the best--
But a towin' job or a salvage job, they all go in with