R TEA-HOUR BEGINS."]

* * * * *

Commercial Candour.

From a tailor's advertisement:--

"HAVE YOU ANY BLUE SERGES? YES! WE HAVE -- (REGD.) IN STOCK. THE
SUIT TO ORDER .. 63/- Will last about another month."

_Southern Daily Echo._

* * * * *

Quotation from an article in the _Frankfurter Zeitung_ in praise of
sandals:--

"When people saunter through the town without hats--who still
wears a hat?--why should they not go without stockings?"

_Times_.

Well, the explanation may be that while the German head is hot the
German feet are cold.

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S "SPORPOT."

Two Summers ago Mr. Punch gave an account of the Sporpot (or Spaerpot,
meaning a savings-box), a familiar institution which our little guests
from Belgium brought over with them to England. The idea was taken up by
certain schools in South Africa, and a competition was started to see
which of them could fill the biggest Sporpot to make a fund for helping
to restore the homes of Belgian exiles. This year the Eunice High School
for Girls at Bloemfontein comes out first, and the second honours fall
to the St. Andrew's Preparatory School for Boys at Grahamstown. The
total sum of thirty-two pounds collected by the competing schools has
been forwarded to and received by the author of the _Punch_ article and
will be used by him for the purpose desired.

Mr. Punch begs to offer his congratulations to the winners and his best
thanks to all who have contributed so generously from their personal
savings to the needs of the children of our Ally.

* * * * *

A Tough Proposition.

"Ducks (15) For Sale, 7 years old; 4s. each."--_Staffordshire
Sentinel_.

* * * * *

WHISPER, AND I SHALL HEAR.

There's nothing like a newspaper for spreading disease. You wake up in
the morning, feeling fit to do a day's digging on your allotment; you
come down to your breakfast singing a Rhonddalay and eat more than your
allowance. Then you open the newspaper, glance at the latest accession
to the ranks of the Allied Powers, and suddenly, "Plop!" you find there
is a new disease raging, and before you know where you are you discover
that you have got it badly.

That is how I discovered that I was the possessor of a heart murmur. By
putting my hand on the spot under whi