. Then the water even began to
freeze as we filled up our radiators; and, finally, we were reduced to
chopping up the ice in our tank and melting it for breakfast! One
morning, however, Bridget came to me in great distress. "What on earth
shall I do," said she, "I've finished all the ice, and there's not a bit
left to make the tea for breakfast? I know you'll think of something,"
she added hopefully.

I had been on night guard and the idea of no hot tea was a positive
calamity.

I thought for some minutes. "Here, give me the jug," I said, and out I
went. After looking carefully round to see that I was not observed, I
quietly tapped one of the radiators.

"I'll tell you after breakfast where it came from," I said, as I
returned with the full jug. Bridget seized it joyfully and must have
been a bit suspicious as it was still warm, but she was much too wise to
ask any questions.

We had a cheery breakfast, and when it was over I called out, "I hope
you all feel very much better and otherwise radiating? You ought to at
all events!"

"Why?" they asked curiously. "Well, you've just drunk tea made out of
'radium,'" I replied. "Absolutely priceless stuff, known to a few of the
first families by its original name of 'radiator water,'" and I escaped
with speed to the fastnesses of my hut.

THE STORY OF A PERFECT DAY

(_From "Barrack Room Ballads of the F.A.N.Y. Corps,"
By kind permission of Winifred Mordaunt, F.A.N.Y._)

We were smoking and absently humming
To anyone there who could play--
(We'd finished our tea in the Mess hut
Awaiting an ambulance train--)
Roasting chestnuts some were, while the rest,
Cut up toffee or sang a refrain.
Outside was a bitter wind shrieking--
(Thank God for a fug in the Mess!)
Never mind if the old stove is reeking
If only the cold's a bit less--
But one of them starts and then shivers
(A goose walking over her tomb)
Gazes out at the rain running rivers
And says to the group in the room:
"Just supposing the 'God of Surprises'
Appeared in the glow of a coal,
With a promise before he demises
To take us away from this hole
And do just whatever we long to do.
Tell me your perfect day."
Said one, "Why, to fly to an island
Far away in a deep blue lagoon;
One would never be tired in my land
Nor ever get up too soon."
"Every time," cried the girl darni