ne a bright
pattern of virtue in the married state, and both she and her husband
edified Rome by their good example; but her virtue was not without its
alloy; a certain degree of the love of the world being almost
inseparable from honors and high life. She did not discern the secret
attachments of her heart, nor feel the weight of her own chains: she had
neither courage to break them, nor light whereby to take a clear and
distinct view of her spiritual poverty and misery. God, compassionating
her weakness, was pleased in his mercy to open her eyes by violence, and
sent her the greatest affliction that could befall her in the death of
her husband, when she was only thirty-two years of age. Her grief was
immoderate till such time as she was encouraged to devote herself
totally to God, by the exhortations of her friend St. Marcella, a holy
widow, who then edified Rome by her penitential life. Paula, thus
excited to set aside her sorrow, erected in her heart the standard of
the cross of Jesus Christ, and courageously resolved to walk after it.
From that time, she never sat at table with any man, not even with any
of the holy bishops and saints whom she entertained. She abstained from
all flesh meat, fish, eggs, honey, and wine; used oil only on holydays;
lay on a stone floor covered with sackcloth; renounced all visits and
worldly amusements, laid aside all costly garments, and gave every thing
to the poor which it was in her power to dispose of. She was careful in
inquiring after the necessitous, and deemed it a loss on her side if any
other hands than her own administered relief to them. It was usual with
her to say, that she could not make a better provision for her children,
than to secure for them by alms the blessings of heaven. Her occupation
was prayer, pious reading, and fasting. She could not bear the
distraction of company, which interrupted her commerce with God; and, if
ever she sought conversation, it was with the servants of God for her
own edification. She lodged St. Epiphanius and St. Paulinus of Antioch,
when they came to Rome; and St. Jerom was her director in the service of
God, during his stay in that city for two years and a half, under pope
Damasus. Her eldest daughter Blesilla, having, in a short time after
marriage, lost her husband, came to a resolution of forsaking the world,
but died before she could compass her pious design. The mother felt this
affliction too sensibly. St. Jerom, who at that time