CAR. Joy of what, Frank?

ILF. Of thy wealth, for I hear of few that have joy of their wives.

SCAR. Who weds as I have to enforced sheets,
His care increaseth, but his comfort fleets.

ILF. Thou having so much wit, what a devil meant'st thou to marry?

SCAR. O, speak not of it,
Marriage sounds in mine ear like a bell,
Not rung for pleasure, but a doleful knell.

ILF. A common course: those men that are married in the morning to wish
themselves buried ere night.

SCAR. I cannot love her.

ILF. No news neither. Wives know that's a general fault amongst their
husbands.

SCAR. I will not lie with her.

ILF. _Caeteri volunt_, she'll say still;
If you will not, another will.

SCAR. Why did she marry me, knowing I did not love her?

ILF. As other women do, either to be maintained by you, or to make you
a cuckold. Now, sir, what come you for?

_Enter_ CLOWN.

CLOWN. As men do in haste, to make an end of their business.

ILF. What's your business?

CLOWN. My business is this, sir--this, sir--and this, sir.

ILF. The meaning of all this, sir?

CLOWN. By this is as much as to say, sir, my master has sent unto you;
by this is as much as to say, sir, my master has him humbly commended
unto you; and by this is as much as to say, my master craves your
answer.

ILF. Give me your letter, and you shall have this, sir, this, sir, and
this, sir. [_Offers to strike him_.

CLOWN. No, sir.

ILF. Why, sir?

CLOWN. Because, as the learned have very well instructed me, _Qui supra
nos, nihil ad nos_, and though many gentlemen will have to do with other
men's business, yet from me know the most part of them prove knaves for
their labour.

WEN. You ha' the knave, i'faith, Frank.

CLOWN. Long may he live to enjoy it. From Sir John Harcop, of Harcop, in
the county of York, Knight, by me his man, to yourself my young master,
by these presents greeting.

ILF. How cam'st thou by these good words?

CLOWN. As you by your good clothes, took them upon trust, and swore I
would never pay for them.

SCAR. Thy master, Sir John Harcop, writes to me,
That I should entertain thee for my man.
His wish is acceptable; thou art welcome, fellow.
O, but thy master's daughter sends an article,
Which makes me think upon my present sin;
Here she remembers me to keep in mind
My promis'd faith to her, which I ha' broke.
Here she remembers me I am a man,
Black'd o'er with perjury, whose sinful breast
Is charactered like those c