cept in the eating of
green gooseberries'--transforming to a varnished City madam; with a loud
laugh and a mincing step; the crazy ancestress of an accountably fallen
descendant. She bustles prodigiously and is punctually smart in her
speech, always in a fluster to escape from Dulness, as they say the dogs
on the Nile-banks drink at the river running to avoid the crocodile. If
the monster catches her, as at times he does, she whips him to a froth,
so that those who know Dulness only as a thing of ponderousness, shall
fail to recognise him in that light and airy shape.

When she has frolicked through her five Acts to surprise you with the
information that Mr. Aimwell is converted by a sudden death in the world
outside the scenes into Lord Aimwell, and can marry the lady in the
light of day, it is to the credit of her vivacious nature that she does
not anticipate your calling her Farce. Five is dignity with a trailing
robe; whereas one, two, or three Acts would be short skirts, and
degrading. Advice has been given to householders, that they should
follow up the shot at a burglar in the dark by hurling the pistol after
it, so that if the bullet misses, the weapon may strike and assure the
rascal he has it. The point of her wit is in this fashion supplemented
by the rattle of her tongue, and effectively, according to the testimony
of her admirers. Her wit is at once, like steam in an engine, the motive
force and the warning whistle of her headlong course; and it vanishes
like the track of steam when she has reached her terminus, never
troubling the brains afterwards; a merit that it shares with good wine,
to the joy of the Bacchanalians. As to this wit, it is warlike. In the
neatest hands it is like the sword of the cavalier in the Mall, quick to
flash out upon slight provocation, and for a similar office--to wound.
Commonly its attitude is entirely pugilistic; two blunt fists rallying
and countering. When harmless, as when the word 'fool' occurs, or
allusions to the state of husband, it has the sound of the smack of
harlequin's wand upon clown, and is to the same extent exhilarating.
Believe that idle empty laughter is the most desirable of recreations,
and significant Comedy will seem pale and shallow in comparison. Our
popular idea would be hit by the sculptured group of Laughter holding
both his sides, while Comedy pummels, by way of tickling him. As to a
meaning, she holds that it does not conduce to making merry: you m