shut them in a dark room."
From the District School of Edenburgh wrote head-master, Mr. Glass:
"The naughty boys should all be sent to the bottom of the class."
From the Mixed School of Glasgow wrote Professor Duncan Law:
"To keep a proper kind of school, just use the three-tailed taw."
From the Latin School of Dublin wrote Professor Patrick Clayrence:
"If the boys are very bad boys, write a letter to their parents."
From the Mission School, Calcutta, wrote the Rev. Mr. Mac Look:
"Try them by a boy jury, write the verdict in a black-book."
From the Lyceum of New York wrote Professor Henry Bothing:
"Take your delinquent boys one hour and make them sit on nothing."
From the Public School, Chicago, wrote head-master, Mr. Norrids:
"If they will not behave themselves, why, just you slap their
foreheads."
From, the Academy of San Francisco wrote head-master, Mr. Power:
"Make them stoop and hold their fingers on the floor for just an
hour."
From the Mormon School of Utah wrote Professor Orson Pratt:
"First strip and make them fast, and then just use the little cat."
From the King's College, Lisbon, wrote Professor Don Cassiers:
"If you want to make them good boys, pull, pinch, and twist their
ears."
From the Cadet's School of Paris wrote Professor Monsieur Sour:
"Just make them hold their hands above their heads for one full
hour."
From the Royal School of Amsterdam wrote Professor Vander Tooler:
"If they will not behave themselves, just trounce them with a
ruler."
From the Model School of Pekin wrote Professor Cha Han Coo:
"Just put their hands into the stocks and beat with a bamboo."
From the Normal School of Moscow wrote Professor Ivan Troute:
"To make your boys the best of boys, why, just use the knout."
From the Muslim School of Cairo wrote the Mufti, Pasha Saido:
"Upon the bare soles of their feet give them the bastinado."
From the Common School of Berlin wrote Professor Von de Rind:
"There's nothing like the old, old way that ever could I find;
Just lay them right across your knee and cane them well behind.
I've only just been speaking mit mine goot frien', Doctor Whistim,
And he says that it does no harm, but is felt throughout the
system."
At last, as I was thinking deep how puzzling all this looks,
I received a tempting offer from a certain Mr. Snooks.
His "great machine to whip with speed" I brought with flusteration,
But to see just ho