h, and smite the enemy
Upon his native strand."

Sailing by night and veiled in mist,
His swiftest ships of war
Rained death on two defenceless towns
For half an hour or more,
Till they had slain and wounded babes
And women by the score.

The Fatherland was filled with joy
By this heroic deed;
It gloated o'er the slaughtered babes
Of Albion's hated breed;
And Iron Crosses fell in showers
On those who'd made them bleed.

But honest neutrals everywhere
Were sickened and dismayed;
The Turk, not squeamish as a rule,
No special glee betrayed;
And even Mr. BERNARD SHAW
Failed to defend the raid!

Then more in sorrow than in wrath
The EMPEROR made moan:
"Though martyred and misunderstood
I tread my way alone,
At least I have the sympathy
Of God on His high throne."

Then from the pillar and the cloud
Came accents clear and plain:
"The Massacre of Innocents
Passes the guilt of CAIN;
And those who sin with HEROD earn
His everlasting stain."

* * * * *

Two announcements at Hereford:--

"Cathedral Service, Sunday, Dec. 13th.
Preacher: Rev. H. M. Spooner.

Baptist Chapel.
Lecture: 'Slips of Speech and Trips in Type.'"

"Yes," said the President of New College on his way to the Cathedral,
"I know something about slips of speech, but what _are_ tips in
tripe?"

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE NEW ARMY TO THE FRONT.]

* * * * *

THE NEXT?

BOMBARDMENT OF LITTLE SHRIMPINGTON BY THE GERMAN FLEET.

(_Extract from a Report by the German Admiral._)

_Battle-cruiser_ "_Von Herod_."

SIR,--With regard to the recent magnificent and hoch-compelling
exploit of the Imperial Squadron I have the honour to report as
follows:--

Our battle-cruisers sighted the strongly-fortified sea-coast town of
Little Shrimpington about 12.45, and at once opened a devastating
fire. A hostile abbey, situated in a commanding position at the cliff
top, and quite unmistakable (as at Whitby), was the first to fall. The
shelling of this edifice, to which I learn that the Christians attach
considerable importance, for some reason that I am unable to
comprehend, cannot fail to produce lively satisfaction among our brave
allies at Constantinople.

Next turning our guns upon the golf links, in fifteen rounds