ize cheese. There is more cheese raised in this country
than there is silver, and it is more valuable. Suppose you had not
eaten a mouthful in thirty days, and you should have placed on the table
before you ten dollars stamped out of silver bullion on one plate and
nine dollars stamped out of cheese bullion on another plate. Which would
you take first? Though the face value of the nine cheese dollars would
be ten per cent, below the face value of ten silver dollars, you would
take the cheese. You could use it to better advantage in your business.
Hence I say cheese is more valuable than silver, and it should be made
legal tender for all debts, public and private, except pew rent. I may
be in advance of other eminent financiers, who have studied the currency
question, but I want to see the time come, and I trust the day is not
far distant, when 412 1/2 grains of cheese will be equal to a dollar in
codfish, and when the merry jingle of slices of cheese shall be heard in
every pocket.

Then every cheese factory can make its own coin, money will be plenty,
everybody will be happy, and there never will be any more war. It may
be asked how this currency can be redeemed? I would have an
incontrovertible bond, made of Limburger cheese, which is stronger and
more durable. When this is done you can tell the rich from the poor man
by the smell of his money. Now-a-days many of us do not even get a smell
of money, but in the good days which are coming the gentle zephyr will
waft to us the able-bodied Limburger, and we shall know that money is
plenty.

The manufacture of cheese is a business that a poor man can engage in as
well as a rich man. I say it, without fear of successful contradiction,
and say it boldly, that a poor man with, say 200 cows, if he thoroughly
understands his business, can market more cheese than a rich man who
owns 300 oxen. This is susceptible of demonstration. If my boy showed
a desire to become a statesman, I would say to him, "Young man, get
married, buy a mooley cow, go to Sheboygan county, and start a cheese
factory."

Speaking of cows, did it ever occur to you, gentlemen, what a saving
it would be to you if you should adopt mooley cows instead of horned
cattle? It takes at least three tons of hay and a large quantity of
ground feed annually to keep a pair of horns fat, and what earthly use
are they? Statistics show that there are annually killed 45,000 grangers
by cattle with horns. You pass laws to m