weedy, dissolute lawns. Halfbare, repulsively crippled, hummocky lawns.
Bright lawns, insistent on former respectability and trimness; yellow
and gray lawns, touched with the craziness of age, quite beyond all
interest in looks, content to doze easily in the sun. If Miss Francis'
mixture was on the upandup and she hadnt introduced a perfectly
unreasonable condition--why, I couldnt miss.

On the other hand, I thought suddenly, I'm the salesman, not she. It was
up to me as a practical man to determine where and how I could sell to
the best advantage. With sudden resolution I walked over a twinkling
greensward and rang the bell.

"Good afternoon, madam. I can see from your garden youre a lady who's
interested in keeping it lovely."

"Not my garden and Mrs Smith's not home." The door shut. Not gently.

The next house had no lawn at all, but was fronted with a rank growth of
ivy. I felt no one had a right to plant ivy when I was selling something
effective only on the family Gramineae. I tramped over the ivy hard and
rang the doorbell on the other side.

"Good afternoon, madam. I can see from the appearance of your lawn youre
a lady who really cares for her garden. I'm introducing to a restricted
group--just one or two in each neighborhood--a new preparation, an
astounding discovery by a renowned scientist which will make your grass
twice as green and many times as vigorous upon one application, without
the aid of anything else, natural or artificial."

"My gardener takes care of all that."

"But, madam--"

"There is a city ordinance against unlicensed solicitors. Have you a
license, young man?"

After the fifth refusal I began to think less unkindly of Miss Francis'
idea of selling the stuff to farmers and to wonder what was wrong with
my technique. After some understandable hesitation--for I don't make a
practice of being odd or conspicuous--I sat down on the curb to think.
Besides, the pump was getting wearisomely heavy. I couldnt decide
exactly what was unsatisfactory in my routine. The stuff had neither
been used nor advertised, so there could be no prejudice against it; no
one had yet allowed me to get so far as quoting price, so it wasnt too
expensive.

The process of elimination brought me to the absurd conclusion that the
fault must lie in me. Not in my appearance, I reasoned, for I was a
personable young man, a little over thirty at the time, with no obvious
defects a few visits to the dentist wouldnt h