breath and wound
up for the clincher.

I won't say she was an easy sale, but afterall I'm a psychologist; I
found all her weak points and touched them expertly. Even so, she made
me cut my price in half, leaving me only twofifty according to my
agreement with Miss Francis, but it was an icebreaker.

I got the pump and hose, collecting at the same time an audience of
brats who assisted me by shouting, "What ya goin a do, mister?" "What's
at thing for, mister?" "You goin a water Mrs Dinkman's frontyard,
mister?" "Do your teeth awwis look so funny, mister? My grampa takes his
teeth out at night and puts'm in a glass of water. Do you take out your
teeth at night, mister?" "You goin a put that stuff on our garden too,
mister?" "Hay, Shirley--come on over and see the funnylooking man who's
fixing up Dinkman's yard."

They were untiring, shrilling their questions, exclamations and
comments, completely driving from my mind the details of the actual
application of the Metamorphizer. Anyway, Miss Francis had been
concerned with putting it in the irrigation water--which didnt apply in
this case. I thought a moment. A gallon was enough for thirty acres;
half a pint should suffice for this--more than suffice. Irrigation
water, nonsense--I'd squirt it on and tell the woman to hose it down
afterward--that'd be the same as putting it in the water, wouldnt it?

To come to this practical conclusion under the brunt of the children's
assault was a remarkable feat. As I dribbled the stuff over the sorry
devilgrass they kicked the pump--and my shins--mimicking my actions,
tripping me as they skipped under my legs, getting wet with the
Metamorphizer--I hoped with mutually deleterious effect--and generally
making me more than ever thankful for my bachelor condition.

Twofifty, I thought, angrily squirting a fine mist at a particularly
dreary spot--and it isnt even selling. Manual labor. Working with my
hands. I might as well be a gardener. College training. Wide experience.
Alert and aggressive. In order to dribble stuff smelling sickeningly of
carnations on a wasted yard. I coiled up my hose disgustedly and
collected a reluctant five dollars.

"It don't look any different," commented Mrs Dinkman dubiously.

"Madam, Professor Francis' remarkable discovery works miracles, but not
in the twinkling of an eye. In a week youll see for yourself, provided
of course you wet it down properly."

"In a week youll be far gone with my five dollars