rd as he can
paste her, head down and eyes shut. Bill, he doesn't see anything
either, until there ain't more'n three foot of air between 'em, and
then he jumps aside!

"Swoosh!" goes the ram into the water, and Billy straightens out his
little curly tail and waves it in the air like a flag. And holler! I
wisht you could have heard that pig! Nothing could been more human.
"I've got the deady-deady on you, you hook-nosed, slab-sided, second
cousin of a government mule!" says he. "Oh! I've got you where I want
you and the way I want you, and it's up to you to convert yourself into
cash at the earliest opportunity, for you won't be worth much in the
market when I'm tired of my fun!" This he says as he gallops to the
other side, to head the sheep off, his mild blue eye on fire. I tell
you it's dangerous to rouse up a fat person with a mild blue eye.

[Illustration: "And holler! I wisht you could have heard that pig"]

A sheep don't swim much better than a mowin' machine, and this feller
got desperate--he was for the shore, no matter what broke. And Bill
ripped the wool out of him for fair as he tried to scramble up.

"Our fight, Steve!" says the Doctor. "I _knew_ he'd do him all the
time! You throw up the sponge and we'll yank the critter out!"

"Let him drown," says Steve. "I don't like him, hide nor hair--and,
besides, think what he's cost me."

But that wouldn't do. Hastings would have looked so mournful,
happiness couldn't get along in the same territory with him. So out
comes Mr. Ram. Done. Everlastingly done. All in and the cover
screwed down. We pointed our fingers at him and did a war-dance around
him, sayin': "Agh--hagh! You will, will you? Now, don't you wish
you'd been good!" He hadn't a word to say. And that good old Billy,
he comes up and rubs Wind River's legs out from under him just as
natural as ever, not set up or swell-headed a bit, like the gentleman
he was.

[Illustration: "Done. Everlastingly done"]

The ram eat his grass and minded his own business from that time on.

For Sale, the Golden Queen

This is the story of the great Golden Queen deal, as Hy Smith told it,
after recovering his sanity:

Aggy and me were snug up against it. One undeserved misfortune after
another had come along and swatted us, till it looked as though we'd
have to work for a living. But we plugged along at the Golden Queen,
taking out about thirty cents a day--coarse, gold, fortunatel