-in-the-army whiskers working right,
he only had to stick one hand in his vest and begin, "Fellow-Citizens
and Gentlemen," and he could start anything from a general war to a
barber-shop expedition to gather North Poles.
Give him a good, honest, upright gang of men that would weigh two
hundred a head, and Aggy could romp with their money or them, so the
worst used monkey in the cage would go home pleased.
Ag was built to play with huskies, not paralytics; so one day when he
stooped and turned sideways to get into the paralytic's room, treadin'
soft on the boards so's not to land the outfit in the cellar, the sight
of the poor sick man lyin' there--everlastingly lyin'--his helpless
hands turned palm up on the covers, why, old Ag's heart was touched.
He was that kind of grass-hopper, Ag, to whipsaw you out of a hundred
and then lend you five hundred, even if he had to rip the pelt off
somebody else to get it. I asked him about that trait onct.
"Why, Hy, my boy," says he, with his thumb in his vest, and his
twenty-five cent cigar in his teeth--we was livin' at the risk of a
high-roller hotel at the time--"in the first place, I'm a gentleman in
disguise, and carelessness allows me to drop the disguise now and then;
besides that," says he, "I hate these here conventions. Because I
touch Mr. Jones for his wad, must I therefor scramble Mr. Ferguson?
And if I stake Ferguson, must I open a free lunch for the country?
Now, God forbid!" says Ag. "I started out being pleased by doing the
things that pleased me, regardless of the vulgar habits of the mob.
The mob can select its destination at any or all times it pleases, but
I'm going to be Agamemnon G. Jones," says he. "The unexpected always
happens, and I'm the unexpected," he says.
You wouldn't ask for a man to keep his statements clearer than that. I
was the only person had a line on him. I'd figger out every
possibility for him and then sleep peaceful, knowing that it had come
off different.
So while nobody'd figger on Ag's gettin' stuck by a paralytic, darned
if he didn't come away with a map in his hands. "Here is our fortune,
Henry," says he.
Well, now, I jumped sideways. "Look here, Aggy Jones, do you mean to
say that legless wonder has stuck you?"
"Mr. Troy conveyed all rights in the property to me for $10, paid in
hand, including this method of findin' out where it is," says he.
"Where'd you get the $10, and me not know it?" says I.
"Trivial, t
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