habiliments of
Fancy and embellished with such wit as I possess. Do not take them
seriously, I pray you, for their aim is to amuse. Do not feel offended
if some pet corn is trod upon, for it is all in fun and no malice is
intended.

Most of the sketches have already appeared in the Los Angeles
_Herald_ and the reader may detect in some a touch of localism, as
for instance, in "The Essentials of Greatness," which refers casually
to the passing of Senator Stephen M. White. "Steve White," as he
was affectionately dubbed by those who knew him, was a great man in
California, though, perhaps, his fame as an orator and statesman may
not have penetrated far beyond the borders of the Golden State. In two
other sketches references are made to Li Hung Chang. Both were written
prior to the death of the distinguished Oriental diplomat, and I
have chosen to explain seeming anachronisms, rather than change my
narrative to conform with later events.

THE AUTHOR.

CONTENTS.

INFLUENCE OF THE PIPE

OUR FRIEND THE MURDERER

SCIENCE AND WEATHER

THE ESSENTIALS OF GREATNESS

HORSE SENSE

THE MANNISH WOMAN

A WONDERFUL MACHINE

DRAWBACKS OF THE KING BUSINESS

THE EATING HABIT

DELIGHTS OF FLASHLIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY

WONDERS OF SPIRITUALISM

THE POTENCY OF THE TESTIMONIAL

AMBITIONS AND THINGS

THE TELEPHONE FACE

[Illustration: INFLUENCE OF THE PIPE.]

"I see, by a recent paper," said the Observer, as he lit another cigar
and resettled himself in his chair, "that a Chicago physician and a
lot of fool women, who are evidently jealous of Carrie Nation, are
about to start an active crusade against the 'Smoke Nuisance.' This
is ambiguous enough to warrant the supposition that their object is
the compulsory introduction of some patented device for clearing the
atmosphere of Pittsburg and other manufacturing towns, but their real
aim is to discourage the use of tobacco. Now, of all the human pests
which afflict the long-suffering public, the anti-smoke agitator
is about the worst. Why, man alive! what would become of the human
race without tobacco? It is the grease which lubricates the Wheel
of Evolution. Since the time of Sir Walter Raleigh civilization
has advanced more rapidly by one hundred per cent. Nearly all great
inventors, artists and writers owe their inspiration to the pipe.

"A very successful newspaper man whom I know has four different pipes
and each serves a special purpose. When he wants