ecimated; waste lands will be cleared and cultivated,
as if by magic, and, a generation hence, there will come forth from
the agricultural regions a host of young toilers with Destiny's
diploma for future greatness in their pockets."

The Observer was so wrapped up in his prophecy that he missed his shot
by fully half an inch and put the wrong end of his cigar in his mouth.
After carefully wiping the ashes out of his teeth and kicking the
proprietor's cat, he resumed:

"I rather got off the subject, and don't want you to put me down
as endorsing reincarnation, either, but when I hear a lot of folks
talking about what a great man So-and-So was; how he had to get up
before daylight to chop wood and feed the stock, in order to get to
school on time, I say to myself, 'What Tommyrot! As if Providence
didn't have it all fixed for him.'"

HORSE SENSE

"In some ways the average man hasn't the sense of the average
horse," said the Observer, taking a shot at the cuspidor and looking
thoroughly disgusted. "Horse sense is a brand of intelligence
immeasurably above that displayed by human beings under certain
conditions. No, I'm not suffering from dyspepsia or gout--I've simply
been watching people as they try to pass each other in halls and
doorways, and on the street. It's enough to make a man ashamed that he
was born a 'Lord of creation.'

"The average horse doesn't need to be guided when he sees another
horse coming the other way. He swerves to the right, as naturally
as a bull-dog chases a tramp. What does the average man do when he
suddenly meets another coming hurriedly in an opposite direction? He
places himself squarely in front of him and then begins a series of
side-steps, first to one side and then the other, in exact accordance
with those of the man he is trying to pass, like the mirror pantomime
in Hanlon's Fantasma. Finally, both come to a standstill, facing each
other, and one tries to execute a quick flank movement to the left.
Just at this moment the other suddenly remembers that he would have
avoided all this tomfoolery if he had only kept to the right, and
tries to make good on this hypothesis. The result is that they bump
into each other violently and begin side-stepping again. After another
round or two of Terpsichorean gymnastics one of them breaks through
the other's guard and escapes and each continues on his belated way,
thinking what an infernal idiot the other is.

[Illustration: "Oof!"]