le Race. Lorry _versus_ Staff Car (with French carts,
traffic control and G.S. wagons as obstacles). Very amusing. Language
real.

_FOR THE YOUNGSTERS._

Pick-a-back rides on the Highland Light Elephantry.

_ACCOMMODATION._

Bedrooms (_en pension_)--
Ground floor.............. One guinea.
First floor (below) ...... Three guineas.
Second floor (very safe).. Ten guineas.

* * * * *

PRATT'S "BATTLE" TOUR.

Extraordinary offer. Thrills guaranteed.

By special arrangement Pratt's are enabled to offer their patrons a
first-class view of the _British Weekly Push_ "Somewhere in France (or
Flanders)."

Attention is called to the following specially attractive items (there
may be others):--

1. _View of Preliminary Bombardment_ from an absolutely proof 12-inch
O.P. The surrounding country and the objectives of the next attack
will be explained by a specially trained Staff Officer.

2. _The Battle._

Visitors are earnestly requested to be in time, as space in the
Observation Post is limited and late arrivals cause a great deal
of discomfort to all. Ladies are respectfully requested to remove
their hats.

3. _The Aftermath._

(a) Special Shelters are erected at cross-roads for visitors to
witness the getting-up of guns, ammunition, etc., after the attack.
Please don't feed the men as they go by or ask the Gunners questions.

(b) Breakfast in Boschland. Lunch in a Listening Post. Supper in
a Saphead.

(c) A Special Narrow-gauge Railway will take Visitors to the
newly-acquired forward area (not obligatory). This part of the
programme is liable to variation.

Terms, fifty guineas. An Insurance Agent is always in attendance.
Casualties up to the present, one Conscientious Objector missing,
believed joined up.

* * * * *

Bombardments arranged at the shortest notice. For five pounds you can
fire a 15-inch. Write for Free Booklet and apply for all particulars
to Pratt's Agency, London, Paris, etc., etc.

* * * * *

VISITORS.

When I was very ill in bed
The fairies came to visit me;
They danced and played around my head,
Though other people couldn't see.

Across the end a railing goes
With bars and balls and twisted rings,
And there they jiggled on their toes
And did the wonderfullest things.

They balanced on the golden balls,
They jumped about from bar to bar,
An