TEN, AGATHA! EXACTLY B FLAT." {_Strikes note to
establish accuracy of his ear._}]

* * * * *

STANZAS ON TEA SHORTAGE.

[Mr. M. GRIEVE, writing from "The Whins," Chalfont St. Peter, in
_The Daily Mail_ of the 12th inst., suggests herb-teas to meet
the shortage, as being far the most healthful substitutes. "They
can also," he says, "be blended and arranged to suit the gastric
idiosyncrasies of the individual consumer. A few of them are
agrimony, comfrey, dandelion, camomile, woodruff, marjoram,
hyssop, sage, horehound, tansy, thyme, rosemary, stinging-nettle
and raspberry."]

Although, when luxuries must be resigned,
Such as cigars or even breakfast bacon,
My hitherto "unconquerable mind"
Its philosophic pose has not forsaken,
By one impending sacrifice I find
My stock of fortitude severely shaken--
I mean the dismal prospect of our losing
The genial cup that cheers without bemusing.

Blest liquor! dear to literary men,
Which Georgian writers used to drink like fishes,
When cocoa had not swum into their ken
And coffee failed to satisfy all wishes;
When tea was served to monarchs of the pen,
Like JOHNSON and his coterie, in "dishes,"
And came exclusively from far Cathay--
See "China's fragrant herb" in WORDSWORTH'S lay.

Beer prompted CALVERLEY'S immortal rhymes,
Extolling it as utterly eupeptic;
But on that point, in these exacting times,
The weight of evidence supports the sceptic;
Beer is not suitable for torrid climes
Or if your tendency is cataleptic;
But tea in moderation, freshly brewed,
Was never by Sir ANDREW CLARK tabooed.

We know for certain that the GRAND OLD MAN
Drank tea at midnight with complete impunity,
At least he long outlived the Psalmist's span
And from ill-health enjoyed a fine immunity;
Besides, robust Antipodeans can
And do drink tea at every opportunity;
While only Stoics nowadays contrive
To shun the cup that gilds the hour of five.

But war is war, and when we have to face
Shortage in tea as well as bread and boots
'Tis well to teach us how we may replace
The foreign brew by native substitutes,
Extracted from a vegetable base
In various wholesome plants and herbs and fruits,
"Arranged and blended," very much like teas,
To suit our "gastric idiosyncrasies."

It is a list for future use to file,