s so pleasant
It couldn't be mended wi' owt.
What's that? He has "sent a surprise"?
What is 't, lass? Go on! a new gaan, I'll be bun',
Or happen a nugget o' famous girt size;
Whativer it is it's t' best thing under t' sun.

Ay, lad, I dare say, "life is rough,"
For t' best on 't is nut varry smooth;
I' England it's hilly enough,
Niver name wi' them diggers uncouth.
But theer, Liz, be sharp an' let's have his surprise.
I'm capt(2) wheer tha's gotten that stammerin' cough,
Tha reads a deal better nor that when tha tries.
Good gracious! What's t' matter? Shoo's fainted reight off!

Hey! Lizzie, tha flays(3) me; coom here,
An' sit wheer tha'll get some fresh air:
Tha'rt lookin' so bad at I fear
Tha's much war(4) nor I were aware.
That's reight, lass, get tul it once more,
Just read reight to t' end on 't, an' then
We'll just tak a walk for a bit aat o' t' door,
Whol tha feels rayther more like thisen.

What! Bless us! Aar Jim gotten wed!
It is a surprise, on my word.
Who is she? That's all at he's said?
I wish then I niver had heard.
At one time I thowt happen thee he'd admire,
An' that's haa we all sud have liked it to be.
Bud, sithee! What's that, Liz, at's burnin' on t' fire?
It's t' ribbin Jim bowt thee! Ay, ay, lass, I see.

1. From. 2. Puzzled. 3. Frightenest. 4. Worse.

A Yorkshire Farmer's Address to a Schoolmaster

George Lancaster (Born 1846)

Good day to you, Misther skealmaisther,
the evenin' is desperate fine,
I thowt I wad gie ye a call aboot
that young sonnie o' mine.
I couldn't persuade him to come,
sea I left him behont(1) me at yam,(2)
Bud somehoo it's waintly(3) possess'd me
to mak a skealmaisther o' Sam.
He's a kind of a slack-back, ye knaw,
I niver could get him to work,
He scarcelins wad addle(4) his saut
wiv a ploo, or a shovel, or fork.
I've tried him agean an' agean,
bud I finnd that he's nea use at yam,
Sea me an' my missus agreed
to mak a skealmaisther o' Sam.
If I sends him to wark, why, he'll chunther(5)
an' gie me the a awfullest leaks,
He'd a deal rayther lig upo' d' sofy
wi' novels an' them soort o' beaks.
Sea I thowt a skealmaisther