lf to the Army Staffs. The Army
Staffs kept half of what they received, and passed on the remainder
to the Corps Staffs. The same method was applied right down to the
Battalion Staffs, and it will readily be observed (with the help of
an elementary arithmetical calculation) that the likelihood of the
men in the line ever receiving a foreign decoration was practically
nonexistent.

The Scottish Division received as its share on this occasion three
crosses. Colonel Parker and the other demi-gods of the divisional
Olympus being already provided for, these were allotted to
dignitaries of minor importance. It was decided that one should be
given to Dr. O'Grady, who had done great service to the French
population (he had assisted a Belgian refugee in childbirth and she
had survived his ministrations). The second was marked down for the
D.A.D.O.S., and the third for the A.D.V.S., a genial fellow
who was very popular in the mess.

The names of the three lucky men were handed by a Staff officer to an
intelligent clerk with orders to draw up immediately a set of nominal
rolls for the Corps.

Unfortunately the clerk happened to be the very same man to whom
Colonel Parker had given the list of the three heretics of the 113th
Battery the day before. But who can blame him for having confused two
groups of three names? And who can blame the officer on duty for
having signed two nominal rolls without reading them?

A month later, the Division was surprised to hear that Captain
Cockell and Lieutenants Little and M'Cracken had been made Knights of
the Legion of Honour. As they really deserved it, the choice caused
considerable astonishment and general rejoicing; and the three
warriors, happy to see three decorations reach them intact after
having passed through so many covetous hands, were loud in praise of
their superior officers' discrimination.

CHAPTER XII

VARIATIONS

"I have no illusions left but the Archbishop of
Canterbury."--Sydney Smith.

"When I was attached to a field ambulance," said the doctor, "we had
three padres with us in the mess."

"That was rather a large order," said the Rev. Mr. Jeffries.

"It _was_ a large order," agreed the doctor, "but one of them anyway
was quite harmless. The R.C. padre spoke very little, ate an
enormous amount, and listened with infinite contempt to the
discussions of his colleagues.

"I don't want to hurt your feelings, padre, but Catholicism is _the_
only relig