, even
though revenge had been out of the question; any woman, I say, who
was disprejudiced, and that wit and spirit enough to prefer a point of
pleasure to a point of pride.
Mr. H... had clapped a livery upon him; and his chief employ was, after
being shewn my lodgings, to bring and carry letters or messages between
his master and me; and as the situation of all kept ladies is not
the fittest to inspire respect, even to the meanest of mankind, and,
perhaps, less of it from the most ignorant, I could not help observing
that this lad, who was, I suppose, acquainted with my relation to his
master by his fellow servants, used to eye me in that bashful confused
way, more expressive, more moving and readier caught at by our sex, than
any other declarations whatever: my figure had, it seems, struck him,
and modest and innocent as he was, he did not himself know that the
pleasure he took in looking at me was love, or desire; but his eyes,
naturally wanton, and now inflamed with passion, spoke a great deal more
than he durst have imagined they did. Hitherto, indeed, I had only taken
notice of the comeliness of the youth, but without the least design: my
pride alone would have guarded me from a thought that way, had not
Mr. H....'s condescension with my maid, where there was not half the
temptation, in point of person, set me a dangerous example; but now I
began to look on this stripling as every way a delicious instrument
of my designed retaliation upon Mr. H.... of an obligation for which I
should have made a conscience to die in his debt.
In order then to pave the way for the accomplishment of my scheme, for
two or three times that the young fellow came to me with messages, I
managed so, or without affectation to have him admitted to my bed side,
or brought to me at my toilet, where I was dressing; and by carelessly
shewing or letting him, as if without meaning or design, sometimes my
bosom rather more bare than it should be; sometimes my hair, of which I
had a very fine head, in the natural flow of it while combing; sometimes
a neat leg, that had unfortunately slipt its garter, which I made no
scruple of tying before him, easily gave him the impressions favourable
to my purpose, which I could perceive to sparkle in his eyes, and glow
in his cheeks: then certain slight squeezes by the hand, as I took
letters from him, did his business completely.
When I saw him thus moved, and fired for my purpose, I inflamed him
yet mo
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