a minute."

And a year later she wrote from Kovno in 1914:

"The approach of this anniversary has been taking me, despite of
myself, over every minute of those dreadful, dreadful days a year
ago. I don't want to speak of it all to you or make you feel any more
than I have already the weight of a grief that will never leave
me--but I do want to tell you that I shall also never forget how good
you were to me and how you helped me through that simply fearful
night. I don't know how anything could be any worse but still if you
had not been there I don't know what I would have done--and I shall
always remember and be glad that Tibi died not far from you."

I think unquestionably the loss of Tibi was the greatest suffering
that Nelka ever experienced in her life, even though the loss of her
mother and of her aunts was a great shock each time and deep grief
which held on for a long time. But there was something about the
death of this little dog which hurt Nelka more than anything else.
While in later years she never hardly spoke about it, I think the
pain always remained.

Nelka was a great believer in 'circumstances' in life. The death of
Tibi was a 'circumstance' which affected Nelka's life and mine as
well. Had Tibi not died as she did then, Nelka would not have
returned that year to Russia. By returning to Russia in 1913 and
then the war breaking out the next year, she was prevented from
returning to America and thus never again saw her Aunt Susie, who
died without her in 1916, while Nelka was at the front. She then
stayed on through the war and then the Revolution, and we were
married in 1918. Had Tibi not died, all the conditions would have
been different and very likely we would not have been married, at
least this is possible. I think both she and I have been believers in
'circumstances.' I know that I am. Circumstances which affect all our
life. Sometimes one small event, something so insignificant that it
is hardly noticed, can bring about a chain of events which entirely
and basically change the whole course of one's life. This is what I
think the death of Tibi did to the lives of both Nelka and me.

When Nelka came back to Russia in 1913 she undertook the
reorganization job offered by Princess Wasilchikoff. Nelka felt it
would help her forget and would act as a relief valve for her
feelings. Princess Wasilchikoff offered Nelka complete freedom and
independence of action and decision in all concerning the si