Nelka and I were living in another house, in a
closed apartment in a house where some very close friends of ours
lived. Nelka was registered there under a false passport in the name
of Emilia Sarapp. I was not known, unless as a boy friend.

The food situation had become absolutely desperate. There just was
none. Some mornings I would go to the outskirts of the city where
peasants would come in their sleighs selling milk. People fought to
get a quart of this watery stuff.

We also had some frozen potatoes. When frozen, potatoes are pink and
sweet and slimy. These we ate without butter or even salt which was
not available. The watery milk sometimes helped. Once in a while we
got a loaf of black bread with a mixture of straw. I saw people cut
off chunks of meat from a dead horse lying in the street and carry it
home for their dinner.

So we packed some clothes and valuables and waited. Before leaving,
we wanted once more to see my old aunt in Tsarskoe and we went there
to say goodbye. We spent the day with her and were returning to
Petrograd before dark, for a curfew was sometimes imposed and it was
not safe to be around in the dark.

As we were hurrying through the crowded station, someone slipped up
to the side of Nelka. It was our friend from the house we lived in.
She whispered to Nelka: "Do not return home. A raid took place and
they have an ambush waiting for you." Having said that, she slipped
away into the crowd.

Now we were in a desperate fix, and we knew it. The first thing was
to get off the streets. We quickly thought it over and then called
the apartment of some friends of mine, who we knew were not there,
but where an old governess was still remaining. We just said we would
come over. People understood and asked no questions. We went there,
explained what had happened and spent the night.

We were in a critical situation. We had no money, except a little on
hand, no belongings of any kind, except the clothes on us, and in
greater danger of getting caught. So first of all, we went to the man
who was to take us over the border and explained the situation. He
especially understood how very dangerous it was particularly for me,
with all the points which were against me. He said he had nothing
arranged for the moment, except one possibility which was not too
certain and not too safe. He had a peasant coming to see him that day
and that he could send me with him, but not both, for this was not to
sure a