it is better not
to know--and yet--there may be hope.

HELENA. What do you say?

SONIA. Nothing. [She goes out.]

HELENA. [Alone] There is no greater sorrow than to know another's secret
when you cannot help them. [In deep thought] He is obviously not in love
with her, but why shouldn't he marry her? She is not pretty, but she
is so clever and pure and good, she would make a splendid wife for a
country doctor of his years. [A pause] I can understand how the poor
child feels. She lives here in this desperate loneliness with no one
around her except these colourless shadows that go mooning about talking
nonsense and knowing nothing except that they eat, drink, and sleep.
Among them appears from time to time this Dr. Astroff, so different, so
handsome, so interesting, so charming. It is like seeing the moon
rise on a dark night. Oh, to surrender oneself to his embrace! To lose
oneself in his arms! I am a little in love with him myself! Yes, I am
lonely without him, and when I think of him I smile. That Uncle Vanya
says I have the blood of a Nixey in my veins: "Give rein to your nature
for once in your life!" Perhaps it is right that I should. Oh, to be
free as a bird, to fly away from all your sleepy faces and your talk and
forget that you have existed at all! But I am a coward, I am afraid; my
conscience torments me. He comes here every day now. I can guess why,
and feel guilty already; I should like to fall on my knees at Sonia's
feet and beg her forgiveness, and weep.

ASTROFF comes in carrying a portfolio.

ASTROFF. How do you do? [Shakes hands with her] Do you want to see my
sketch?

HELENA. Yes, you promised to show me what you had been doing. Have you
time now?

ASTROFF. Of course I have!

He lays the portfolio on the table, takes out the sketch and fastens it
to the table with thumb-tacks.

ASTROFF. Where were you born?

HELENA. [Helping him] In St. Petersburg.

ASTROFF. And educated?

HELENA. At the Conservatory there.

ASTROFF. You don't find this life very interesting, I dare say?

HELENA. Oh, why not? It is true I don't know the country very well, but
I have read a great deal about it.

ASTROFF. I have my own desk there in Ivan's room. When I am absolutely
too exhausted to go on I drop everything and rush over here to forget
myself in this work for an hour or two. Ivan and Miss Sonia sit rattling
at their counting-boards, the cricket chirps, and I sit beside them and
paint, feeling warm and