urhood, we are informed, it is etiquette to blow a police-whistle
only when someone is being "done in."

We were also informed, in discreet whispers, that the "Guv'nor" of the
Station "had it in for us." His grievance was this: that while a rival
show across the river had been accorded a military picket by the War
Office, he had been fobbed off with a mere guard of Special Constables.
To date of writing, his wrath still smoulders.

Our hours of duty are filled with dulness, but we live in hopes. That
speeding motor-cyclist in the yellow oilskins--is he the mysterious
rider who has already shot down a round dozen of our number on lonely
beats?

He shuts off power. He stops. He gets off and fumbles with a lamp. Is it
a bomb in disguise? Our hands creep towards the truncheons concealed in
our trouser-legs. The Hour has struck, and England expects...!

Alas, he is only a belated cyclist, reputable and harmless. We console
ourselves with visions of 1915, when we hope to be mobilised, packed off
to the Continent in motor-buses, and assigned to beats in Berlin
(possibly renamed Berlinogradville City), while the Congress are
rearranging the map of Europe.

"Yes, madam, this is Unter den Linden. Straight on and fourth turning to
the left for the Siegesallee.... Oui, Monsieur, l'auto de luxe pour
Petrograd part a midi.... Nein, mein Herr, es ist verboten. Broadly
speaking, alles ist polizeilich verboten. You will be quite safe in
assuming that anything you yearn for just now ist strengstens
polizeilich verboten. Passen Sie along, bitte!"

* * * * *

Illustration: "NOW THEN, TOMMY--GOT SOME GOOD NEWS FOR ME TO-NIGHT--EH?
WHAT?"

"YES, SIR: KITCHENER WANTS ANOTHER RECRUIT."

* * * * *

"The Women our Shield."

From _Germany and the Next War_:--

"We shall now consider how the tactical value of ... the screening
service can be improved by organisation, equipment and training."

VON BERNHARDI seems to have overlooked the fact that a portion of the
"screening service" was living under the Belgian Government.

* * * * *

"Whilst Germany is a large customer of England in other directions,
it is not in hardware and ironmongery. On the contrary, she exports
much more hardware to us than we buy from her."--_System._

It seems almost a pity that this delightful system cannot go on.

* * *