Cicero saw his favourite political
object, the _concordia ordinum_, threatened by any opposition to
the triumvirate, which he yet distrusted as dangerous to the
constitution. We shall find him, therefore, vacillating between
giving his support to its policy or standing by the extreme
Optimates. P. Clodius is taking measures to be adopted into a
plebeian gens, in order to stand for the tribuneship. Quintus is
still in Asia. Pompey's triumph had taken place in the previous
September.

TO ATTICUS (IN EPIRUS)

ROME, 20 JANUARY

[Sidenote: B.C. 60, AET. 46]

Believe me there is nothing at this moment of which I stand so much in
need as a man with whom to share all that causes me anxiety: a man to
love me; a man of sense to whom I can speak without affectation,
reserve, or concealment. For my brother is away--that most open-hearted
and affectionate of men. Metellus is not a human being, but

"Mere sound and air, a howling wilderness."

While you, who have so often lightened my anxiety and my anguish of soul
by your conversation and advice, who are ever my ally in public affairs,
my confidant in all private business, the sharer in all my conversations
and projects--where are you? So entirely am I abandoned by all, that the
only moments of repose left me are those which are spent with my wife,
pet daughter, and sweet little Cicero. For as to those friendships with
the great, and their artificial attractions, they have indeed a certain
glitter in the outside world, but they bring no private satisfaction.
And so, after a crowded morning _levee_, as I go down to the forum
surrounded by troops of friends, I can find no one out of all that crowd
with whom to jest freely, or into whose ear I can breathe a familiar
sigh. Therefore I wait for you, I long for you, I even urge on you to
come; for I have many anxieties, many pressing cares, of which I think,
if I once had your ears to listen to me, I could unburden myself in the
conversation of a single walk. And of my private anxieties, indeed, I
shall conceal all the stings and vexations, and not trust them to this
letter and an unknown letter-carrier. These, however--for I don't want
you to be made too anxious--are not very painful: yet they are
persistent and worrying, and are not put to rest by the advice or
conversation of any friend. But in regard to the Republic I have still
the same courage and purpose, though it has again and