m at the
Normans--or she may not. Some people leave cards almost like the "hares"
in a paper chase; others seldom if ever do. Except on the occasions
mentioned in the paragraph before this, or unless there is an illness, a
death, a birth, or a marriage, people in society invite each other to
their houses and don't leave cards at all. Nor do they ever consider whose
"turn" it is to invite whom.

="NOT AT HOME"=

When a servant at a door says "Not at home," this phrase means that the
lady of the house is "Not at home to visitors." This answer neither
signifies nor implies--nor is it intended to--that Mrs. Jones is out of
the house. Some people say "Not receiving," which means actually the same
thing, but the "not at home" is infinitely more polite; since in the
former you know she is in the house but won't see you, whereas in the
latter case you have the pleasant uncertainty that it is quite possible
she is out.

To be told "Mrs. Jones is at home but doesn't want to see you," would
certainly be unpleasant. And to "beg to be excused"--except in a case of
illness or bereavement--has something very suggestive of a cold shoulder.
But "not at home" means that she is not sitting in the drawing room behind
her tea tray; that and nothing else. She may be out or she may be lying
down or otherwise occupied. Nor do people of the world find the slightest
objection if a hostess, happening to recognize the visitor as a particular
friend, calls out, "Do come in! I _am_ at home to _you!_" Anyone who talks
about this phrase as being a "white lie" either doesn't understand the
meaning of the words, or is going very far afield to look for untruth. To
be consistent, these over-literals should also exact that when a guest
inadvertently knocks over a tea cup and stains a sofa, the hostess instead
of saying "It is nothing at all! Please don't worry about it," ought for
the sake of truth to say, "See what your clumsiness has done! You have
ruined my sofa!" And when someone says "How are you?" instead of answering
"Very well, thank you," the same truthful one should perhaps take an hour
by the clock and mention every symptom of indisposition that she can
accurately subscribe to.

While "not at home" is merely a phrase of politeness, to say "I am _out_"
after a card has been brought to you is both an untruth and an inexcusable
rudeness. Or to have an inquiry answered, "I don't know, but I'll see,"
and then to have the servant, after taking a