up with a sudden impulse, I rushed into
the depths of a neighbouring wood, and, falling upon my knees, did what I
had not done for a long time--prayed to God.
"A change, an entire change, seemed to have come over me. I was no
longer gloomy and despairing, but gay and happy. My slumbers were light
and easy; not disturbed, as before, by frightful dreams. I arose with
the lark, and like him uttered a cheerful song of praise to God,
frequently and earnestly, and was particularly cautious not to do
anything which I considered might cause His displeasure.
"At church I was constant, and when there listened with deepest attention
to every word which proceeded from the mouth of the minister. In a
little time it appeared to me that I had become a good, very good young
man. At times the recollection of the sin would return, and I would feel
a momentary chill; but the thought quickly vanished, and I again felt
happy and secure.
"One Sunday morning, after I had said my prayers, I felt particularly
joyous. I thought of the innocent and virtuous life I was leading; and
when the recollection of the sin intruded for a moment, I said, 'I am
sure God will never utterly cast away so good a creature as myself'. I
went to church, and was as usual attentive. The subject of the sermon
was on the duty of searching the Scriptures: all I knew of them was from
the Liturgy. I now, however, determined to read them, and perfect the
good work which I had begun. My father's Bible was upon the shelf, and
on that evening I took it with me to my chamber. I placed it on the
table, and sat down. My heart was filled with pleasing anticipation. I
opened the book at random, and began to read; the first passage on which
my eyes lighted was the following--
"'He who committeth the sin against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven,
either in this world or the next'."
Here Peter was seized with convulsive tremors. Winifred sobbed
violently. I got up, and went away. Returning in about a quarter of an
hour, I found him more calm; he motioned me to sit down; and, after a
short pause, continued his narration.
CHAPTER LXXVI.
"Where was I, young man? Oh, I remember, at the fatal passage which
removed all hope. I will not dwell on what I felt. I closed my eyes,
and wished that I might be dreaming; but it was no dream, but a terrific
reality. I will not dwell on that period, I should only shock you. I
could not bear my feelings; so
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