already said. For example, in the discussion about the Argentine
Republic, your proper course would have been to say first, firmly, that
the territory in question was not a part of the seceded States and had
never been in the Union, with a brief and decided geographical
explanation. Your mother would not have been convinced by this, and
would probably have had the last word, but the matter would have ended
there. Another friend of mine, who is in a position very like your own,
goes a step farther, and is determined to agree with his mother-in-law
in everything. He always assents to her propositions. She is a
Frenchwoman, and has been accustomed to use _Algerie_ and _Afrique_ as
convertible terms. Somebody spoke of the Cape of Good Hope as being in
Africa. "Then it belongs to France, as Africa belongs to France." "Oui,
chere mere," he answered, in his usual formula; "vous avez raison."

He alluded to this afterwards when we were alone together. "I was
foolish enough some years since," he said, "to argue with my _belle
mere_ and try to teach her little things from time to time, but it kept
her in a state of chronic ill-humor and led to no good; it spoiled her
temper, and it did not improve her mind. But since I have adopted the
plan of perpetual assent we get on charmingly. Whatever she affirms I
assent to at once, and all is well. My friends are in the secret, and so
no contradictory truth disturbs our amiable tranquillity."

A system of this kind spoils women completely, and makes the least
contradiction intolerable to them. It is better that they should at
least have the opportunity of hearing truth, though no attempt need be
made to force it upon them. The position of ladies of the generation
which preceded ours is in many respects a very trying one, and we do not
always adequately realize it. A lady like your mother, who never really
went through any intellectual discipline, who has no notion of
intellectual accuracy in anything, is compelled by the irresistible
feminine instinct to engage her strongest feelings in every discussion
that arises. A woman can rarely detach her mind from questions of
persons to apply it to questions of fact. She does not think simply, "Is
that true of such a thing?" but she thinks, "Does he love me or respect
me?" The facts about the Argentine Republic and the American War were
probably quite indifferent to your mother; but your opposition to what
she had asserted seemed to her a failur