Argentine Republic might be, and betrayed it by
her manner. You imprudently added that it was in South America. "Yes,
yes, I know very well," she answered; "there was a great battle there
during the American War. It is well your friend was not there under
Jefferson Davis." Now, permit me to observe, my estimable young friend,
that this was what the French call a fine opportunity for holding your
tongue, but your missed it. Fired with an enthusiasm for truth (always
dangerous to the peace of families), you began to explain to the good
lady that the Argentine Republic, though in South America, was not one
of the Southern States of the Union. This led to a scene of which I was
the embarrassed and unwilling witness. Your mother vehemently affirmed
that all the Southern States had been under Jefferson Davis, that she
knew the fact perfectly, that it had always been known to every one
during the war, and that, consequently, as the Argentine Republic was in
South America, the Argentine Republic had been under Jefferson Davis.
Rapidly warming with this discussion, your mother "supposed that you
would deny next that there had ever been such a thing as a war between
the North and the South." Then you, in your turn, lost temper, and you
fetched an atlas for the purpose of explaining that the southern
division of the continent of America was not the southern half of the
United States. You were landed, as people always are landed when they
prosecute an argument with the ignorant, in the thankless office of the
schoolmaster. You were actually trying to give your mother a lesson in
geography! She was not grateful to you for your didactic attentions. She
glanced at the book as people glance at an offered dish which they
dislike. She does not understand maps; the representation of places in
geographical topography has never been quite clear to her. Your little
geographical lecture irritated, but did not inform; it clouded the
countenance, but did not illuminate the understanding. The distinction
between South America and the Southern States is not easy to the
non-analytic mind under any circumstances, but when _amour propre_ is
involved it becomes impossible.

I believe that the best course in discussions of this kind with ladies
is simply to say _once_ what is true, for the acquittal of your own
conscience, but after that to remain silent on that topic, leaving the
last word to the lady, who will probably simply re-affirm what she has