ved to be due to the fact that the band was
being conducted, surprising as it may seem, by my brother-in-law, who
had kindly undertaken to wield the _baton_, while the Chief Tormentor
(or whatever his proper title may have been) charged himself anew at the
refreshment counter. A popping of corks in the supper-room apprised me
of the fact that my guests were doing their best, at my expense, to make
the Excise Returns a more cheerful feature of next year's Budget.

I went upstairs in search of a white waistcoat and one or two other
necessary contributions to the festivity of the evening, picking my way
with the utmost care among the greatly-engrossed couples who impeded
every step; and finally arrived at my dressing-room, to find that that
hallowed apartment had been turned into a ladies' cloak-room, and that
every available article of furniture stood elbow-deep under some
attractive combination of furs and feathers.

I unearthed the things I required, but lacked the courage to stay and
put them on. At any moment I might be invaded by a damsel who had met
with some mishap in the heat of the fray, and was now desirous, as they
say in the navy, of "executing repairs while under steam." I accordingly
left the room and mounted towards the top of the house. I had in my
mind's eye a snug little apartment, situated somewhere in the attics,
devoted chiefly to dressmaking operations, where I knew there was a
mirror, and I might complete my toilet in peace.

With becoming modesty I penetrated to this haven by the back-stairs. I
had just reached the top, which was opposite the door in question, when
I heard voices. Evidently some one was coming up to this same landing by
the front stair.

A man does not look his best when found creeping up his own back-stairs
with a white waistcoat in one hand and a pair of pumps in the other, and
I confess I retreated downwards and backwards a couple of paces. The
stair on which I stood was unlighted, and I had a good view of the
landing.

The voices came nearer, and I could now hear the rustling of silks and
laces. Presently I recognised the voices, and immediately after this
their owners came into view, with their backs almost towards me.

"This is the room I mean," said the man, indicating my goal.

"That! All right! Only I don't see why you should drag me all the way up
here," said the girl. "There are much nicer sitting-out places
downstairs. Still, anything for a rest. Come on!"

She