ause he used to live in a
one-roomed house himself--which he did, and her too--but because he's a
local god-on-wheels. Of course they won't stick that."

I also continued to address meetings, receive deputations, and generally
solicit patronage in a way that would have made a cab-tout blush for
shame. As a recreation I kicked off at football matches and laid
foundation-stones. The most important function in which I took part was
the opening of the new wing of the Municipal Library. The ceremony,
which was by way of being a non-party affair, took place on a blustering
February afternoon. The _elite_ of Stoneleigh were picturesquely grouped
upon the steps of the main entrance of the Library, from the topmost of
which the Mayor, the Dean, and the Candidates addressed a shivering and
apathetic audience below.

Fortunately, the company were too exclusively occupied in holding on
their hats and blowing their blue noses to pay much attention to the
improving harangues of Mr Stridge and myself; which was perhaps just as
well, for men who have three or four highly critical and possibly
hostile meetings to address later in the day are not likely to waste
good things upon an assembly who probably cannot hear them, and will
only say "Hear, hear!" in sepulchral tones if they do.

The actual opening of the wing was accomplished quite informally (and I
may say unexpectedly) by Kitty and Mrs Stridge--a fearsome matron, who
looked like a sort of Nonconformist Boadicea--who were huddling together
for warmth in the recess of the doorway. On a pedestal before them lay
two small gold keys, with which they were presently to unlock the door
itself, what time I, in trumpet tones, declared the Library open.
Whether through natural modesty or a desire to escape the assaults of
the wind, the two ladies shrank back so closely into the door that that
accommodating portal, evidently deeming it ungallant to wait even for a
golden key under such circumstances, incontinently flew open, and
Mesdames Inglethwaite and Stridge subsided gracefully into the arms of a
spectacled and embarrassed Librarian, who was formally waiting inside to
receive the company at the proper moment.

After that, the proceedings, which so far had been almost as bleak as
the weather, went with a roar to the finish.

But events like these were mere oases in a desert of ceaseless drudgery.
The fight grew sterner and stiffer, and, as always happens on these
occasions, the neutr