ent nourishment.
If I were to propose a pair of fowls for lunch I know that she would say
it was her duty to remind me that we were a beleaguered city. And yet I
don't want to discourage her...."

"That's very awkward," said I. "What in the world are we to do about the
Harrisons?"

"I know," said my wife suddenly. "Ask them on Saturday. Cook's going to
Plymouth for the week-end to see her son."

"Oh, good," said I. "And we _will_ have a blow-out."

"And we won't put it down in the book."

"No, not a hounce of it."

So that is what we are going to do about the Harrisons. But it doesn't
touch the larger question. Our problem, you will see, is very different
from that of other people, and my wife smiles a pale wan smile when she
hears her friends endlessly discussing ways and means of keeping within
Lord DEVONPORT'S rations. What we want is to discover a means of getting
back to that lavish and generous standard of living.

BIS.

* * * * *

CHARADE OF THE RELUCTANT ECONOMIST.

Unconscious that the times are strange,
Enthroned in cushioned ease and quiet,
My _first_ foresees not any change
In his luxurious canine diet.

While I, his master and his lord,
A hearty breakfast-eater reckoned,
No longer at my frugal board
Enjoy the pleasures of my _second_.

Controllers!--I detest the tribe;
Freedom I hold in deep devotion;
Why should they want to circumscribe
My powers of rapid locomotion?

My _whole_ I can no longer buy,
'Tis useless to attempt to beg it;
And whether it be wet or dry
Three times in four I have to leg it.

* * * * *

"In the Commons this afternoon Mrs. Macpherson said recent fighting
in Southern Palestine had resulted in the capture of a Turkish
advanced position."--_Nottingham Evening Post_.

The lady seems, without waiting for the Franchise Bill, to have captured
an advanced position herself.

* * * * *

"Good Bed room and sitting room, bath, h. and c., in lovely
secluded garden, Hants."

Very proper. Baths should always be taken in seclusion.

* * * * *

"Deland is a church-going community,
with Baptist, Presbyterian, two Methodists,
Christian, Episcopalian and Roman Catholic
Churches."--_American Paper_.

We are so glad the Christians were not forgotten.

* * * *