and nearer to God, so that she
may do everything to please this suddenly refound, unspeakably
beloved God.

She desires to get nearer and nearer to God in spite of the pain that
she often experiences. Perhaps the first pains we experience are
when we are in contemplation of God and are caught by God into
High Contemplation. He will at times expose the soul to so much of
the Divine Power that she cannot sever herself from the too great
fulness of Union with God, though the body is crying to her to do it
and the sufferings of the body are all felt by the soul, which is pulled
two ways: all this is very painful and makes us almost in a _fear_ of
God again. Why should Perfect Love inflict this pain on us? It may
be to remind us that He is not only Love, but Power, Might, Majesty,
and Dominion also. Yet could this ever be forgotten? It seems
incredible. But it does not do to trust to one's soul, or to count on
what she will do or not do: we know that the soul has forgotten
almost everything about God, so much so that we are now thankful
to arrive even so far as being quite certain that He exists! What
infinite kindness that He should consent and condescend to Himself
be her Teacher! But He does so condescend, and the more the soul
relearns of God, the more she also learns that He is never weary of
working for us all: this keeps the soul in a state of intense gratitude.

* * *

When the soul arrives at Union with God, does she remain always in
Union? Yes, but not at the degree of Union which is Contact. What
is the difference? It can perhaps be most easily explained (though
extremely imperfectly) by referring to the union of married life. In
this union, though we live in one house, we are not always both in
that house at the same time; but this does not dissolve our union, and
we both know our way to return there, and the right to meet is
always ours. When we are both in the house, although not in the
same room, there is a much nearer feeling about it, and we are apt to
give a momentary call one to the other, just to have the pleasure of
response: yet, though we are aware the other one is in the house and
that there is no part of the house where we are forbidden to meet--it
is not enough; love requires more: it will be necessary for one to go
and seek the actual presence of the other (the soul does this by a
quiet prayer with perhaps a few words, but more probably no words).
The one finds the other one; but the other one